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easy child's moving on sat.
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 419879" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>ddd thanks and yes i know and the input does help.... Donna no doubt being an adult isnt' all it's cracked up to be.</p><p> </p><p>to be quite honest the moment i said ok i'm giong in to talk to her..... i knew in my mind sat. may come and go and she'll still be here doing what she does leaving going coming etc. in that case I will pack up her things leave them in the garage with a note stating i love you, again these are the rules. if you change your mind call me as long as your willing to obide by them and we'll meet at therapists office and discuss particulars before you re enter.</p><p> </p><p>cause i know her i'm calling her bluff now. she sat there well i'll leave on my birthday. i said no i can't live that way that much longer, its too toxic and out of control plus too much drama on your bdy. she said oh ok so sooner? i said yea how about sat. difficult child will be with dad you arent' going as usual so that'll work.</p><p> </p><p>i'm locking house, doors, windows etc. each time we leave. she asked if she can come by i said sure your always welcome but call first. you wont' be allowed here alone or to have parties when i go away etc. you aren't living here anymore and that's how we'll be handling it. i did tell her i'll set up financial aid incase she choses to go to college in september. the therapy i want to pay for, my choice.</p><p> </p><p>we'll c how it all shakes out. i've rid myself of the guilt already today. i dont' know if that's the little tiny xanax i took lol or if it's my common sense or both. maybe i'll have to rid myself each day if necessary.</p><p> </p><p>we all adjust, in the beginning she'd disaappear not come home i'd be frantic than each night it got a little easier. especially when i knew she was just being defiant. i can't change the past i can only work on from today forward and i can only do what my gut's telling me on this. i can't be her doormat anymore love her to death yet i can't at almost 41 be walked all over anymore and have difficult child have a frontrow seat.</p><p> </p><p>i just keep invisioning years down road her visiting us laughing and saying do u remember how defiant you were at 18?? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> here's hoping</p><p> </p><p>thing is we're cut from same cloth, not to sound oppositional yet when i need to be i can be really strong and really stubborn also and smart about how i go about stuff. she seems to think that at 18 years old she's got me beat, she soo doesn't.</p><p> </p><p>dont' get me wrong i want the thoughts the whole call cops thing just was a bit overboard kid will be 18 on may 8th i'm not worried about any legal repurcussions therapist said dont be also.</p><p>i told difficult child maybe this will be better, easy child will visit you and you two will actually visit instead of fight or her yell at you. she than said can we give the room to my stepson?? LOL sheesh...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 419879, member: 4514"] ddd thanks and yes i know and the input does help.... Donna no doubt being an adult isnt' all it's cracked up to be. to be quite honest the moment i said ok i'm giong in to talk to her..... i knew in my mind sat. may come and go and she'll still be here doing what she does leaving going coming etc. in that case I will pack up her things leave them in the garage with a note stating i love you, again these are the rules. if you change your mind call me as long as your willing to obide by them and we'll meet at therapists office and discuss particulars before you re enter. cause i know her i'm calling her bluff now. she sat there well i'll leave on my birthday. i said no i can't live that way that much longer, its too toxic and out of control plus too much drama on your bdy. she said oh ok so sooner? i said yea how about sat. difficult child will be with dad you arent' going as usual so that'll work. i'm locking house, doors, windows etc. each time we leave. she asked if she can come by i said sure your always welcome but call first. you wont' be allowed here alone or to have parties when i go away etc. you aren't living here anymore and that's how we'll be handling it. i did tell her i'll set up financial aid incase she choses to go to college in september. the therapy i want to pay for, my choice. we'll c how it all shakes out. i've rid myself of the guilt already today. i dont' know if that's the little tiny xanax i took lol or if it's my common sense or both. maybe i'll have to rid myself each day if necessary. we all adjust, in the beginning she'd disaappear not come home i'd be frantic than each night it got a little easier. especially when i knew she was just being defiant. i can't change the past i can only work on from today forward and i can only do what my gut's telling me on this. i can't be her doormat anymore love her to death yet i can't at almost 41 be walked all over anymore and have difficult child have a frontrow seat. i just keep invisioning years down road her visiting us laughing and saying do u remember how defiant you were at 18?? :) here's hoping thing is we're cut from same cloth, not to sound oppositional yet when i need to be i can be really strong and really stubborn also and smart about how i go about stuff. she seems to think that at 18 years old she's got me beat, she soo doesn't. dont' get me wrong i want the thoughts the whole call cops thing just was a bit overboard kid will be 18 on may 8th i'm not worried about any legal repurcussions therapist said dont be also. i told difficult child maybe this will be better, easy child will visit you and you two will actually visit instead of fight or her yell at you. she than said can we give the room to my stepson?? LOL sheesh... [/QUOTE]
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