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easy child's moving on sat.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 420160" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Leave things alone. For now at lest, it's time to stop rushing to the rescue. She now has to ask for help. Once she chooses to leave, she is responsible. make it clear tat she can always choose to come back, all she has to do is sign the contract to follow your very reasonable house rules. In the meantime - let her 'enjoy' the freedom. I speak from my personal experience - when I moved out, my parents arranged for me to move in where they felt I would be well supervised. I was not. When I tried to ell the people I was staying with where I was going and when I would be back, they didn't want to know. They did not care.</p><p></p><p>The first time I stayed out all night, I got home at 11 am next day expecting a full-on search underway for me. Nobody had noticed my absence. That was when I began to really understand how my parents loved me and I began to value their concern. It only took me three months before this happened. </p><p></p><p>And I had not gone away mad, I had no lesson to learn. But the lesson was there to learn anyway. A kid who is 'running away' is likely to learn faster.</p><p></p><p>Sit back, be patient, at least you know where she will be at the moment, which is more than you will have if you make a fuss now. You will gain nothing, but lose a daughter even further, she will be even more secretive about where she ends up and could find a placement a lot worse. I know I did! There are some nasty, nasty places out there. Places where the flies take up a collection for a flyscreen; where the roaches all wear protective clothing. One place I remember mice living in the oven. A communal fridge where nothing was sacred. Carpet that felt sticky underfoot. Holes in the floor where rats could come and go. I was 18.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 420160, member: 1991"] Leave things alone. For now at lest, it's time to stop rushing to the rescue. She now has to ask for help. Once she chooses to leave, she is responsible. make it clear tat she can always choose to come back, all she has to do is sign the contract to follow your very reasonable house rules. In the meantime - let her 'enjoy' the freedom. I speak from my personal experience - when I moved out, my parents arranged for me to move in where they felt I would be well supervised. I was not. When I tried to ell the people I was staying with where I was going and when I would be back, they didn't want to know. They did not care. The first time I stayed out all night, I got home at 11 am next day expecting a full-on search underway for me. Nobody had noticed my absence. That was when I began to really understand how my parents loved me and I began to value their concern. It only took me three months before this happened. And I had not gone away mad, I had no lesson to learn. But the lesson was there to learn anyway. A kid who is 'running away' is likely to learn faster. Sit back, be patient, at least you know where she will be at the moment, which is more than you will have if you make a fuss now. You will gain nothing, but lose a daughter even further, she will be even more secretive about where she ends up and could find a placement a lot worse. I know I did! There are some nasty, nasty places out there. Places where the flies take up a collection for a flyscreen; where the roaches all wear protective clothing. One place I remember mice living in the oven. A communal fridge where nothing was sacred. Carpet that felt sticky underfoot. Holes in the floor where rats could come and go. I was 18. Marg [/QUOTE]
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