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Substance Abuse
Either back into intensive outpatient or sober home for two years
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 391612"><p>Nancy,</p><p></p><p>You are hardly a failure at detachment or anything else. You have been there for your daughter AND you have set limits and been clear. You are not enabling her substance abuse and that is the huge first step!!!</p><p></p><p>I don't think detachment is about giving up and I don't think it is about not worrying. We are moms we are going to worry and we are going to hope. That is normal I think. I do think detachment is about finding ways to go on with your life and not have your focus always be her, and to not obsessively worry.</p><p></p><p>And it is a process.... I bet if you talk to other parents who have really detached, it took them time and a lot of practice and a number of disappointments to get there.</p><p></p><p>I can totally relate. I am doing better at the moment because our son is safe in rehab so I don't have to worry about him right now. We haven't heard from him in over a week and I don't think we will for awhile... he is processing a tough letter from his sister and needs to go through that with therapy there... yet I am feeling it that we haven't heard from him. But like you I am trying to let go and so keep going on with things in MY life. I know it is going to get even harder once he is through the 90 days.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter may be somewhat ambivalent about going to out treatment and also about staying sober. I think this is not unusual. It has to be hard to think about giving up something that you feel helped you cope with life, no matter how destructive that coping mechanism was. I would let the therapist at the program know your concerns and then leave it with them.</p><p></p><p>Hugs... and hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 391612"] Nancy, You are hardly a failure at detachment or anything else. You have been there for your daughter AND you have set limits and been clear. You are not enabling her substance abuse and that is the huge first step!!! I don't think detachment is about giving up and I don't think it is about not worrying. We are moms we are going to worry and we are going to hope. That is normal I think. I do think detachment is about finding ways to go on with your life and not have your focus always be her, and to not obsessively worry. And it is a process.... I bet if you talk to other parents who have really detached, it took them time and a lot of practice and a number of disappointments to get there. I can totally relate. I am doing better at the moment because our son is safe in rehab so I don't have to worry about him right now. We haven't heard from him in over a week and I don't think we will for awhile... he is processing a tough letter from his sister and needs to go through that with therapy there... yet I am feeling it that we haven't heard from him. But like you I am trying to let go and so keep going on with things in MY life. I know it is going to get even harder once he is through the 90 days. Your daughter may be somewhat ambivalent about going to out treatment and also about staying sober. I think this is not unusual. It has to be hard to think about giving up something that you feel helped you cope with life, no matter how destructive that coping mechanism was. I would let the therapist at the program know your concerns and then leave it with them. Hugs... and hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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Either back into intensive outpatient or sober home for two years
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