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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 235049" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I beg to differ on the autism similarities - you would be surprised at what these days falls under the umbrella of autism.</p><p></p><p>But that isn't as important here - what you describe could have many different causes. It helps to have an idea of WHICH is te most likely cause here, because it makes it easier to know how to treat it. Your son may have other sensory issues, and while encopresis can be due to psychological factors, it can also be a physical issue. In Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), encopresis is often due to a poor body awareness, they just simply don't recognise the body's message that it's time to "go".</p><p></p><p>With difficult child 3, he also had anxiety in the mix. He wouldn't use a toilet away from home. He needed to know that there were no hand blowers in there (he hated the noise of tem) and he needed to know that there was not going to be anybody else in there (as in public toilets). We eventually were able to get him to use disabled toilets when out in public (as in toilets for the disabled, not poorly functioning toilets).</p><p></p><p>So difficult child 3 would often soil himself at school, for example, because he hadn't realised he needed to go or because he was too scared to go. Similarly, he would wet himself (but less often). He was bladder trianed long before he was bowel trained (difficult child 1 was the same). I've also known kids who soiled themselves but who wouldn't admit to it because they didn't want people to know (as if noses don't work!). </p><p></p><p>After some time, the body can add to the dysfunction problem.</p><p></p><p>With difficult child 1, he couldn't fathom that he HAD to have a long-term solution to a problem. He wouldn't use a potty, but he also wouldn't dirty his nappy. It was as if he thought that if he just didn't go at all, there wouldn't be a problem. After a week he would be frantic, but he still wouldn't sit on a toilet or the potty. And he still had clean nappies. It got so the only person who could help, was his grandfather. So we took to visiting grandfather every weekend, so grandad could literally bully the **** out of him. I hated it, but it was the only way. After he'd done his "job" he felt much better. This went on for several months.</p><p></p><p>After that as difficult child 1 got older, he ALWAYS needed to be reminded to go to the toilet and not come out until he'd filled it. "Take a book to the reading room" was the instruction. We used our noses to tell us - we would ask, "When did you last***?" and if he couldn't remember, we'd point to the loo. He never could understand how we knew he needed to go - the clue was flatulence. If it smelt like he'd soiled himself, then it meant that things were backing up badly and he needed to move things along. We were still having to do this as he left his teens and headed into his 20s, although we needed to do it less often.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 - we used bribes. We blu-tacked a mini-box of M&Ms to the wall of the toilet and told him they were his, when he used the toilet. As he got more competent, he would earn a box of them after a week of clean pants. Any dirty pants, the clock got re-set. </p><p></p><p>You can make a kid want to do it, by finding something that will motivate him. Everyone has his price. You start small and do small steps. If he's soiling himself daily and not using the toilet at all, then you give a reward for each time he uses the toilet. Then you ease the reward back to the end of the day being still clean and dry. And so on. Keep the reward small and immediate. Never deduct points; once points or rewards are earned they need to be given. So you can't say, "You earned abox of M&Ms for using the toilet but because you were rude to me, you're not getting them." (I probably don't need to tell you this).</p><p></p><p>We had problems with difficult child 3 not wanting to clean his teeth - difficult child 1 got him using the electric toothbrush by explaining it was a "tooth tickler". We got one with a timer on it, he had to keep using it until the 2 minute timer switched it off. It's a matter of finding what works. What worked for difficult child 1 when he was 6, was having a dentist explain it all to him. The dentist said to us, "I don't think he took in any of that, he was looking all round the room and not paying attention," but that night was the first in a very long series, where difficult child 1 cleaned his teeth according to the strict proscription set down by the dentist.</p><p></p><p>We've also had to push the fibre in both boys' diets.</p><p></p><p>Back to the topic of what a typical person with autism is like - there is no typical person. difficult child 3 is outgoing, loves people, will go up to a total stranger and start a conversation. He has always been like this. difficult child 1 seemed shy, but always had loyal friends. The old ideas of what an autistic person is like - the concept has expanded a great deal. I can look at my husband and see the Asperger's traits in him. We can certainly see them in easy child 2/difficult child 2! She has "Asperger's traits" but the specialist said not enough for a diagnosis. We beg to differ, it's becoming increasingly obvious to us as she gets older.</p><p></p><p>In our experience - the autism diagnosis has been good news. Someone with autism who is high-functioning, can be a wonderful, capable person. Our kids embrace their autism as a vital part of who they are. difficult child 3, on meeting a very bright 7 yer old (daughter of therapist) asked the therapist, "Is your daughter autistic?"</p><p>The therapist was a bit taken aback. "No, of course not. Wht do you think she is?"</p><p>"Because she is so very bright, we undertand one another," he told the therapist.</p><p></p><p>In other words, in his eyes being autistic is a very positive trait indeed!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 235049, member: 1991"] I beg to differ on the autism similarities - you would be surprised at what these days falls under the umbrella of autism. But that isn't as important here - what you describe could have many different causes. It helps to have an idea of WHICH is te most likely cause here, because it makes it easier to know how to treat it. Your son may have other sensory issues, and while encopresis can be due to psychological factors, it can also be a physical issue. In Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), encopresis is often due to a poor body awareness, they just simply don't recognise the body's message that it's time to "go". With difficult child 3, he also had anxiety in the mix. He wouldn't use a toilet away from home. He needed to know that there were no hand blowers in there (he hated the noise of tem) and he needed to know that there was not going to be anybody else in there (as in public toilets). We eventually were able to get him to use disabled toilets when out in public (as in toilets for the disabled, not poorly functioning toilets). So difficult child 3 would often soil himself at school, for example, because he hadn't realised he needed to go or because he was too scared to go. Similarly, he would wet himself (but less often). He was bladder trianed long before he was bowel trained (difficult child 1 was the same). I've also known kids who soiled themselves but who wouldn't admit to it because they didn't want people to know (as if noses don't work!). After some time, the body can add to the dysfunction problem. With difficult child 1, he couldn't fathom that he HAD to have a long-term solution to a problem. He wouldn't use a potty, but he also wouldn't dirty his nappy. It was as if he thought that if he just didn't go at all, there wouldn't be a problem. After a week he would be frantic, but he still wouldn't sit on a toilet or the potty. And he still had clean nappies. It got so the only person who could help, was his grandfather. So we took to visiting grandfather every weekend, so grandad could literally bully the **** out of him. I hated it, but it was the only way. After he'd done his "job" he felt much better. This went on for several months. After that as difficult child 1 got older, he ALWAYS needed to be reminded to go to the toilet and not come out until he'd filled it. "Take a book to the reading room" was the instruction. We used our noses to tell us - we would ask, "When did you last***?" and if he couldn't remember, we'd point to the loo. He never could understand how we knew he needed to go - the clue was flatulence. If it smelt like he'd soiled himself, then it meant that things were backing up badly and he needed to move things along. We were still having to do this as he left his teens and headed into his 20s, although we needed to do it less often. difficult child 3 - we used bribes. We blu-tacked a mini-box of M&Ms to the wall of the toilet and told him they were his, when he used the toilet. As he got more competent, he would earn a box of them after a week of clean pants. Any dirty pants, the clock got re-set. You can make a kid want to do it, by finding something that will motivate him. Everyone has his price. You start small and do small steps. If he's soiling himself daily and not using the toilet at all, then you give a reward for each time he uses the toilet. Then you ease the reward back to the end of the day being still clean and dry. And so on. Keep the reward small and immediate. Never deduct points; once points or rewards are earned they need to be given. So you can't say, "You earned abox of M&Ms for using the toilet but because you were rude to me, you're not getting them." (I probably don't need to tell you this). We had problems with difficult child 3 not wanting to clean his teeth - difficult child 1 got him using the electric toothbrush by explaining it was a "tooth tickler". We got one with a timer on it, he had to keep using it until the 2 minute timer switched it off. It's a matter of finding what works. What worked for difficult child 1 when he was 6, was having a dentist explain it all to him. The dentist said to us, "I don't think he took in any of that, he was looking all round the room and not paying attention," but that night was the first in a very long series, where difficult child 1 cleaned his teeth according to the strict proscription set down by the dentist. We've also had to push the fibre in both boys' diets. Back to the topic of what a typical person with autism is like - there is no typical person. difficult child 3 is outgoing, loves people, will go up to a total stranger and start a conversation. He has always been like this. difficult child 1 seemed shy, but always had loyal friends. The old ideas of what an autistic person is like - the concept has expanded a great deal. I can look at my husband and see the Asperger's traits in him. We can certainly see them in easy child 2/difficult child 2! She has "Asperger's traits" but the specialist said not enough for a diagnosis. We beg to differ, it's becoming increasingly obvious to us as she gets older. In our experience - the autism diagnosis has been good news. Someone with autism who is high-functioning, can be a wonderful, capable person. Our kids embrace their autism as a vital part of who they are. difficult child 3, on meeting a very bright 7 yer old (daughter of therapist) asked the therapist, "Is your daughter autistic?" The therapist was a bit taken aback. "No, of course not. Wht do you think she is?" "Because she is so very bright, we undertand one another," he told the therapist. In other words, in his eyes being autistic is a very positive trait indeed! Marg [/QUOTE]
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