great to hear shari--its wonderful when a plan comes together.
it seems to me, based on what you posted in the last few months, that for whatever reason, wee's triggers are all in the morning, in the mainstream setting.
maybe you've thought of these things, maybe not--just some food for thought...
an alterative school setting may absolutely what he needs, and it would be great to know its an option. that *IS* a pretty restrictive setting though, and i'd personally want to explore less restrictive setting before going all in with that.
it seems to me that wee could benefit from
*a self contained setting with a much smaller group (mainstream=lots of kids, lots of chaos at his age)
*a highly structured day with minimal disruption to his schedule (his current morning schedule is ridiculous)...i'd probably include silly things like wee will be given a detailed calendar first thing in the morning to keep on his desk, so he can anticipate any changes to his routine, unless this is something that he'd ruminate on and it would backfire.
*consistent personnel (one aide, one teacher, etc--i'd focus on the attachment disorder here)
*perhaps more of a transdisciplinary approach for theraputics (meaning, therapists come to him, do therapy more functionally directly in the classroom, vs. pullout)
*consistent implementation of his BIP, with no more than two adults responsible for implementation (to allow for absent personnel--its pretty ridiculous that a janitor would be in on the plan--unless he has some unique skill to implement that goal...frankly, this is the responsibility of his aide, and in the event of the AIDE's absense, maybe the teacher herself could fill the role temporarily--i'm guessing if your district doesnt have a full time spEd teacher, you dont have a permanent nurse either)
*a formal alternative plan for absentee personnel, which does NOT include being sent home (typically, in a self contained setting there are enough adults to always have a friendly face...not everyone is gone at the same time, even if its not wee's direct personnel, but i'd have a minimal list of subs for him--maybe two--that have met him and that he's familiar with)
*the ability for wee to make a choice. something written about how, on "hard" days, instead of being forced to do X, he could be given the power to choose to do X, or Y, at a given time, but that both will need to be accomplished by the end of the day.
*a specific safe place for him to de-escalate. not umpteen different alternatives. if wee needs a break he will go/do (whatever)--maybe the Occupational Therapist (OT) room, maybe the library, maybe the gym to shoot baskets. i'd let him drive this goal--somewhere *he* feels safe and comfortable. and the goal would be: Wee will identify his need for (whatever) prior to a meltdown. (this is a VERY hard goal, but it goes alone with the above, to give HIM some power over what is happening)
and it sounds to me that your current setting, for whatever their weak reasoning is, cannot accomplish any of this--hence the need for a change in setting.
then worry about the alternative school setting ;-D
but i'm SO happy for both of you that last night helped formulate a plan....