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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 361399" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Tia, </p><p> </p><p>I agree with Witz. Some of the ABSOLUTE and UGLIEST knock down, drag out - horrific verbal and sadly physical confrontations with myself and Dude I thought were over pre- 16, 17 years of age. But Whoa Nelly. 18 and 19 HAD to be without a doubt the absolute worst ever. Just when we thought things were settling down, and he was gaining a modicum of maturation? He went haywire, was in my face...MY FACE, and had this overwhelming need to bring up things from the past. However when I brought up things from the past? I could stuff it. That was IN THE PAST, HOW DARE I SPEAK OF THE PAST. It was like talking to Jekkyl and reasoning with Hyde. </p><p> </p><p>After he moved out and we said NO you can't come back, NO you can't come visit? I won't deny to you or anyone that a large part of me would have opened my door at anytime and said "Sure, come home...We'll figure this out somehow." Which would have only invited more problems for both of us. Granted you and I both know he's made some whopper dumb-dumb decisions, but not ALL of his decisions and choices have been bad or poor. It was very much like he had to be completely and UTTERLY away from ME...and do it all on his own - without any assistance whatsoever...to feel () much like he had a brain. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know why, I don't think we ever 'made' him feel like that. I'm sure of it. But what goes on in a difficult child's mind is so unpredictable. A teens mind is bad enough. As for counseling? Sure - I think we could ALL use some....who wouldnt' benefit from talking to someone once in a while about bottled up junk and just blowing their cork? But who wants to admit ever they need help? ESPECIALLY NOT a teen. This is like - I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN all over again. You hope....you're proud, and eventually she'll be fine. </p><p> </p><p>I am so proud of her. I'm calling her BB. Beauty and Brains Tell her Her Auntie Star said Hi.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 361399, member: 4964"] Tia, I agree with Witz. Some of the ABSOLUTE and UGLIEST knock down, drag out - horrific verbal and sadly physical confrontations with myself and Dude I thought were over pre- 16, 17 years of age. But Whoa Nelly. 18 and 19 HAD to be without a doubt the absolute worst ever. Just when we thought things were settling down, and he was gaining a modicum of maturation? He went haywire, was in my face...MY FACE, and had this overwhelming need to bring up things from the past. However when I brought up things from the past? I could stuff it. That was IN THE PAST, HOW DARE I SPEAK OF THE PAST. It was like talking to Jekkyl and reasoning with Hyde. After he moved out and we said NO you can't come back, NO you can't come visit? I won't deny to you or anyone that a large part of me would have opened my door at anytime and said "Sure, come home...We'll figure this out somehow." Which would have only invited more problems for both of us. Granted you and I both know he's made some whopper dumb-dumb decisions, but not ALL of his decisions and choices have been bad or poor. It was very much like he had to be completely and UTTERLY away from ME...and do it all on his own - without any assistance whatsoever...to feel () much like he had a brain. I don't know why, I don't think we ever 'made' him feel like that. I'm sure of it. But what goes on in a difficult child's mind is so unpredictable. A teens mind is bad enough. As for counseling? Sure - I think we could ALL use some....who wouldnt' benefit from talking to someone once in a while about bottled up junk and just blowing their cork? But who wants to admit ever they need help? ESPECIALLY NOT a teen. This is like - I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN all over again. You hope....you're proud, and eventually she'll be fine. I am so proud of her. I'm calling her BB. Beauty and Brains Tell her Her Auntie Star said Hi. [/QUOTE]
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