Every year, there's ONE teacher ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    who just doesn't "get" difficult child and does't "get" a 504. This yr, it's the gym teacher.
    She's a loud jerk.
    Still, difficult child has to respect her. And he doesn't.
    He and two other kids skipped her class Monday. He told me when he got home. He also confided in me that he has no motivation to do anything lately, and even when he went to his friend's house and played video games the other day, he didn't have much fun. He also said that when he goes to the nurses' ofc, they are always rushed and make him feel stupid by saying things like, "Have you eaten today?" or "You don't have a fever. Go back to class."

    I first thought "depression."
    Then I thought, "manipulation."
    Then at midnight when he was still up, sitting on the couch eating, I thought, "lack of sleep."

    I kept my word and did not tell anyone. I thought I'd wait until the teacher typed it in online. Better than that, she called. :) She called his girlfriend's mom 30 seconds later. The ^$$@ hit the fan and the girlfriend was grounded. Fine by me. difficult child was grounded, too.

    husband had the day off, so we had a pow wow and decided that difficult child should be grounded through Friday, which would allow him to show up for two more gym classes and to apologize to the teacher. We figured that just saying "I'm sorry" to her would nearly kill him. :)

    Tomorrow I meet with-his counselor and the gym teacher. I will also stop by the nurses' ofc and tell them that when he stops by, he should be given a clonidine and a quiet place to sit. I will discuss that with-the counselor, too. (It's hard to find a spot that is subtle. Kids come by and ask ... )

    He is getting grades all over the place. Interestingly, he's nearly at an A in finance, but a D in math. I thought they went hand-in-hand. He's back and forth in science, too, depending upon the chapter.
    He has been horrid about reading his classwork at home; he thinks once he's done it in class, he never has to look at it again. Argh!
    Oh, and he's grounded off of driving with-me for the rest of this week. Yay! I get a break.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You have my undertanding and sympathy. There is ONE every year and, in the case of my family, often it was the PE teachers. Whew
    I am glad my "school" days are over. Hang in there. DDD
  3. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    This year it is the math teacher. We had a parent conference with all the teachers and guess which teacher no showed? The math teacher....of all people you would think the teacher of the class she is failing would show up.

    I send emails to her and get no reply so today I cc'd the VP and the counselor and immediately got a response. Guess it's time to stop playing nice.
    You would think she would contact me about my daughters failing grades but NOPE!
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Dstc, I always contact the counselor and cc him on everything. It's the only way to get things done with-most teachers. Sad but true. When the PE teacher called me, I asked her if she had gotten my email about a mtng. She said no, then proceeded to look while we were on the phone.
    Later that day, she called back and said that I had sent it to the counselor instead. Uh, no, I sent it to both, but I played dumb. Two can play that game.

    We met today--counselor, teacher, difficult child and me. It went well, but I didn't get to talk to PE teacher/coach about the 504 and anxiety at all. She was rushed and we just stuck to what was going on in class. I did talk to difficult child and counselor after she left and suggested that he stop by the nurses' ofc to get a clonidine before her class if it would help. Since the nurses are not always the friendliest, the counselor told difficult child that he could interrupt any mtng in his ofc and get him to get the medication. Yay!

    So sorry about your math teacher, dstc. Thanks you, DDD.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sounds like you have a great counselor. I am frankly impressed that your school even HAS a nurse. We have a secretary or 2 at each school who is somehow certified to give out medications. The district has 2 actual nurses, with offices at but separate from one of the elem schools. They NEVER see students, and only rarely see parents for meetings about health plans. They do paperwork. Only.

    Many PE teachers just don't seem to 'get' the issues behind IEPs and 504s. We have had more than one who thought that being in PE should 'fix' all sensory issues because all that is needed is time in overly noisy, echoing rooms with large groups of kids who are only loosely supervised. I found it funny when I realized that several of our PE teachers truly believed this. Esp as they verbalized this in front of the district Sp Ed director and the superintendent of schools. It was during a meeting of parents and the teachers and the whole thing was absurd.

    Keep insisting on having the 504 followed. They don't have to like it, but they have to do it because it is their J. O. B. CC'ing the counselor and/or principal is often very useful, in my opinion.

    I LOVE the counselor allowing difficult child to interrupt any meeting. It has to help difficult child realize that the counselor really cares, and in my opinion our kids really NEED to know that someone other than mom and dad thinks they matter. I would send cookies or something to the counselor at some point!
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    My daughter has had experience with a total of 7 PE teachers in our district (she has progressed through three schools). I have to say that I am impressed by those she has had... they seem to actively work to engage the most difficult students and understand that many kids need the physical outlet throughout the day. They have also been very supportive of Duckie with her allergies and asthma. Her current teacher is a real sweetheart. She covers the girls in a double class, the other (male) teacher covers the boys. Every girl that shows up prepared and participates in a positive manner gets a 100. She encourages the girls to try out for sports and lets them know about opportunities in the community to improve and maintain their fitness. Duckie would not have gone out for volleyball this year if it were not for all her positive feedback.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Susiestar, I hadn't even thought if that--sending cookies or something. Great idea! In the meantime, I will send him a thank you email.
    NOT in regard to the exposure issue. What is that called--desensitization. I have done that with-difficult child in regard to transitions (running errands and then changing the order, causing a tantrum, then doing it all over again) I do NOT want the teachers to do that!
    Wonderful about your daughter. TM. It helps to much to get a teacher who is on board.