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Exhausted, a little movement.
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 510608" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>You know, when Q was in 3rd grade in our old district I had been in a two year battle with them and had ARC for an advocate. They were good but finally said, you can fight this and win but it will be years... I would move. SO, I did. I was a wreck and it took a year and a half for Q to settle down... he was afraid of everything and thought bad guys would shoot him in his sleep through the walls etc. Similar to now... all his anxiety rose up. </p><p></p><p>So, It makes me look at how far BOTH of us have come. He is having this anxiety but is dealing with it differently. Has more verbal skills and is using me not just as his punching bag-as he did back then...now nothing so serious ever, but for comfort too-hugs and talks etc. He is talking to his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers and even his therapists at his private therapy place (he used the story as his TOPIC of discussion in speech Tues). I am proud of him for that.</p><p></p><p>Last night he was sitting next to me. He said, "Mom, I'm gonna tell you what happened." I thought...what new info is coming here??? "I was holding that anger all day. Finally, I just got too mad at him." I told him I understood and that is why we are working on other ways to deal with anger. I reminded him that we all get angry but you dont see other angry people hurting. He said well they do in sports. I said, yes and since that confuses you that is why we are not watching fights and things on sports anymore. He is still not happy about that but he said.... If I can work through it can I watch again some day? I said, yeah... if you have 12 months of no hurts on anyone (my go to time line... if he could do that he really would have come a long way in many areas and by then I could make a different deal...one hurt and we go back etc....it wont happen so I am not worried). BUT, then he said..."That really didn't work out well" Again I said, I know...but we will work on it (he meant how he handled it in school... added that now he is paying for it). He also said, "I have to remember that people dont have the safety equipment that they have in sports...so it is not fun for them to push and fight. " </p><p></p><p>See why I can't do martial arts and other sports that involve anything rough... he just has too hard of a time separating it all out. I didn't realize he was getting so obsessed over just the hockey FIGHTS..... I thought he was into the game. He was watching them on you tube at school so I asked them to block it a while ago. His you tube on his galaxy player is some how not working well (wink) so I am working on that...LOL. Our computer is not online anymore... he can only do home programs.</p><p></p><p>As for me, at that point--back when we lived in the other city up north.....(6 years ago) I did think I needed medications. I used Paxil for a couple of years. I have not felt that need at all and trust me, I would not hesitate for a second because I wont go to that dark place. I know the medications help me so if needed I have no problem using them, it is in our genetics big time esp. on my mom's side. I actually feel great about the fact that even when I am totally stressed situationally, I push through. I have some real life people to talk to and have used them (not common for me), even talking to one of my sisters a little bit (I tend to protect my family. They worry so much and then I try to reassure them which they dont ask for.... that is on me, but I just do it--maybe the big sister thing?).</p><p></p><p>Mostly I swear I was lead here. We were in a decent place when I joined this board. I did not anticipate things going down the drain. I do think the prayers from all of you (and my FB family and friends, though they do not know near the details you all do of course, just general "we are having issues" typically...not my deeper feelings and no specifics about people/positions they hold etc.) have made a huge difference. On many levels, not the least of which is just the comfort of knowing people get it.</p><p></p><p>So, when I tell you all thank you, it is not just MN nice. I really deeply appreciate the time you take to notice even my little nervous posts and to stick with me when it is a bigger issue. I only hope I can pay it forward a little.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 510608, member: 12886"] You know, when Q was in 3rd grade in our old district I had been in a two year battle with them and had ARC for an advocate. They were good but finally said, you can fight this and win but it will be years... I would move. SO, I did. I was a wreck and it took a year and a half for Q to settle down... he was afraid of everything and thought bad guys would shoot him in his sleep through the walls etc. Similar to now... all his anxiety rose up. So, It makes me look at how far BOTH of us have come. He is having this anxiety but is dealing with it differently. Has more verbal skills and is using me not just as his punching bag-as he did back then...now nothing so serious ever, but for comfort too-hugs and talks etc. He is talking to his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers and even his therapists at his private therapy place (he used the story as his TOPIC of discussion in speech Tues). I am proud of him for that. Last night he was sitting next to me. He said, "Mom, I'm gonna tell you what happened." I thought...what new info is coming here??? "I was holding that anger all day. Finally, I just got too mad at him." I told him I understood and that is why we are working on other ways to deal with anger. I reminded him that we all get angry but you dont see other angry people hurting. He said well they do in sports. I said, yes and since that confuses you that is why we are not watching fights and things on sports anymore. He is still not happy about that but he said.... If I can work through it can I watch again some day? I said, yeah... if you have 12 months of no hurts on anyone (my go to time line... if he could do that he really would have come a long way in many areas and by then I could make a different deal...one hurt and we go back etc....it wont happen so I am not worried). BUT, then he said..."That really didn't work out well" Again I said, I know...but we will work on it (he meant how he handled it in school... added that now he is paying for it). He also said, "I have to remember that people dont have the safety equipment that they have in sports...so it is not fun for them to push and fight. " See why I can't do martial arts and other sports that involve anything rough... he just has too hard of a time separating it all out. I didn't realize he was getting so obsessed over just the hockey FIGHTS..... I thought he was into the game. He was watching them on you tube at school so I asked them to block it a while ago. His you tube on his galaxy player is some how not working well (wink) so I am working on that...LOL. Our computer is not online anymore... he can only do home programs. As for me, at that point--back when we lived in the other city up north.....(6 years ago) I did think I needed medications. I used Paxil for a couple of years. I have not felt that need at all and trust me, I would not hesitate for a second because I wont go to that dark place. I know the medications help me so if needed I have no problem using them, it is in our genetics big time esp. on my mom's side. I actually feel great about the fact that even when I am totally stressed situationally, I push through. I have some real life people to talk to and have used them (not common for me), even talking to one of my sisters a little bit (I tend to protect my family. They worry so much and then I try to reassure them which they dont ask for.... that is on me, but I just do it--maybe the big sister thing?). Mostly I swear I was lead here. We were in a decent place when I joined this board. I did not anticipate things going down the drain. I do think the prayers from all of you (and my FB family and friends, though they do not know near the details you all do of course, just general "we are having issues" typically...not my deeper feelings and no specifics about people/positions they hold etc.) have made a huge difference. On many levels, not the least of which is just the comfort of knowing people get it. So, when I tell you all thank you, it is not just MN nice. I really deeply appreciate the time you take to notice even my little nervous posts and to stick with me when it is a bigger issue. I only hope I can pay it forward a little. [/QUOTE]
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