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Parent Emeritus
Expect progress not perfection!!
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<blockquote data-quote="AHF" data-source="post: 412691" data-attributes="member: 11180"><p>When Peter Pan was kicked out of his step-down program, the director said something that others had said but not so succinctly: We are working harder at helping you than you are at helping yourself. After that encounter, I thought about what the appropriate percentage should be. Assuming you're planning your days around how you can help difficult child, lying awake nights worrying, dipping into hard-earned cash or whatever--let's say the time- and energy-suck is about 8 hours a day. Is difficult child putting in 8 hours above and beyond basic expectations (self-care, work) to make his situation better? Does goal-setting and planning take up his evening time or his emotional energy? If not, pull back. And I suspect others would say it should be a lot better percentage than 50/50, but at least that's a start!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AHF, post: 412691, member: 11180"] When Peter Pan was kicked out of his step-down program, the director said something that others had said but not so succinctly: We are working harder at helping you than you are at helping yourself. After that encounter, I thought about what the appropriate percentage should be. Assuming you're planning your days around how you can help difficult child, lying awake nights worrying, dipping into hard-earned cash or whatever--let's say the time- and energy-suck is about 8 hours a day. Is difficult child putting in 8 hours above and beyond basic expectations (self-care, work) to make his situation better? Does goal-setting and planning take up his evening time or his emotional energy? If not, pull back. And I suspect others would say it should be a lot better percentage than 50/50, but at least that's a start! [/QUOTE]
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