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Explaining scratches and bruises on you done by your child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 122737" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I have not been through what you are going through, but my best friend was a battered wife. She used to make up stories but I don't think anybody believed them. However, making up a story DOES keep people at arm's length. My friend felt unsupported because nobody said anything or did anything, but she was sure they knew. And yes, most of them DID know. But how can you go up to someone and give them a hug, if they refuse to publicly admit what is really going on?</p><p></p><p>Why be afraid of telling the truth? Being the victim of a beating is no shame. When it's your child - are you concerned people will think you're a bad parent, because your own child beat you up? Anyone who thinks that is very narrow-minded and short-sighted indeed, there are very few parents who think that parenting teens is a walk in the park, anybody could do it with no difficulty at all. And that's with PCs - ALL teens can be difficult. And your kids are difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Now, if it were the other way around and it was your son covered in really bad bruises, and you not having a mark on you, then you would be talking to CPS by now.</p><p></p><p>I think you did the right thing by telling the truth. It leaves you open to support and sympathy, instead of putting up barriers.</p><p></p><p>I never knew my friend's husband, back when he was in her life she didn't encourage friendships from outside her (at the time) narrow circle. I suspect it was so people wouldn't know the truth. But from what I've heard since, from her as well as friends from that time, nobody blamed her in the slightest. And once she openly admitted to what had been going on, she opened the doors to communication again, to friendships and people being able to offer support instead of wringing their hands from a distance.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 122737, member: 1991"] I have not been through what you are going through, but my best friend was a battered wife. She used to make up stories but I don't think anybody believed them. However, making up a story DOES keep people at arm's length. My friend felt unsupported because nobody said anything or did anything, but she was sure they knew. And yes, most of them DID know. But how can you go up to someone and give them a hug, if they refuse to publicly admit what is really going on? Why be afraid of telling the truth? Being the victim of a beating is no shame. When it's your child - are you concerned people will think you're a bad parent, because your own child beat you up? Anyone who thinks that is very narrow-minded and short-sighted indeed, there are very few parents who think that parenting teens is a walk in the park, anybody could do it with no difficulty at all. And that's with PCs - ALL teens can be difficult. And your kids are difficult children. Now, if it were the other way around and it was your son covered in really bad bruises, and you not having a mark on you, then you would be talking to CPS by now. I think you did the right thing by telling the truth. It leaves you open to support and sympathy, instead of putting up barriers. I never knew my friend's husband, back when he was in her life she didn't encourage friendships from outside her (at the time) narrow circle. I suspect it was so people wouldn't know the truth. But from what I've heard since, from her as well as friends from that time, nobody blamed her in the slightest. And once she openly admitted to what had been going on, she opened the doors to communication again, to friendships and people being able to offer support instead of wringing their hands from a distance. Marg [/QUOTE]
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