hey,
i know it's been a very long time, and i'm sorry yet i've been so busy with the kids i haven't had the chance since becoming newly unemployed.
I find myself in need of thoughts tonight, blended families can be so hard. My fiance's daughter, she'll be 14 this month. She is a difficult child, more difficult than most in multiple ways.
Normally it's ok between us, i dont' involve myself too much i dont' repremand, etc. i let her dad due it all. Today i was alone with-her a bit. She pushed me on certain things she knew she wouldnt' be allowed to do i handled it, yet she was pushing buttons.
Needless to say night came and she yelled at the younger two, which upset me. I firmly told her that is not her place. Well, she blew she yelled and screamed cursed me out, called me names all sorts of interesting names, told me to move out i dont' pay the bills here anyway. it was really bad. I tried to think and not engage, yet I did say several times who do you think you are at your age, you need to learn respect do not speak to me in that way and i walked away and diffused it.
this kid is rough. she wound up leaving here tonight. her father jumped in and tried to calm her and get her to be quiet, yet he sat quietly wtih her and talked to her in the other room while she belittled and insulted me. this was due to me speaking up and said there is no way i will have her do family movie night after her behavior, she needs to be consequenced now. there is a history of this kid becoming volatile in the past in her own home, breaking things, etc. she's currently in therapy yet i think one of the problems is everyone in her family kit gloves her because their afraid of a blow up again. she curses out adults like it's nothing. i strongly feel that they handle her badly, for instance had i said nothing tonight she would of been allowed to watch a movie no problem. to me sending wrong signal and message to a kid.
what would any of you do in this situation. i'm disgusted by her behavior, not looking forward to the next time she's here to be honest. i'm upset my difficult child had to witness it and the other younger 2.
any thoughts?? i know i have to be the adult here, yet i'm really feeling like she's only going to be 14 the worst has yet to come. Her dad didnt' handle it how i had hoped he would either. he ofcourse did step in yet a huge calming force as opposed to planting her which is what i would of done.
ok, thanks sorry that was long. i actually climbed out of bed couldnt' sleep to get this out lol......
i know it's been a very long time, and i'm sorry yet i've been so busy with the kids i haven't had the chance since becoming newly unemployed.
I find myself in need of thoughts tonight, blended families can be so hard. My fiance's daughter, she'll be 14 this month. She is a difficult child, more difficult than most in multiple ways.
Normally it's ok between us, i dont' involve myself too much i dont' repremand, etc. i let her dad due it all. Today i was alone with-her a bit. She pushed me on certain things she knew she wouldnt' be allowed to do i handled it, yet she was pushing buttons.
Needless to say night came and she yelled at the younger two, which upset me. I firmly told her that is not her place. Well, she blew she yelled and screamed cursed me out, called me names all sorts of interesting names, told me to move out i dont' pay the bills here anyway. it was really bad. I tried to think and not engage, yet I did say several times who do you think you are at your age, you need to learn respect do not speak to me in that way and i walked away and diffused it.
this kid is rough. she wound up leaving here tonight. her father jumped in and tried to calm her and get her to be quiet, yet he sat quietly wtih her and talked to her in the other room while she belittled and insulted me. this was due to me speaking up and said there is no way i will have her do family movie night after her behavior, she needs to be consequenced now. there is a history of this kid becoming volatile in the past in her own home, breaking things, etc. she's currently in therapy yet i think one of the problems is everyone in her family kit gloves her because their afraid of a blow up again. she curses out adults like it's nothing. i strongly feel that they handle her badly, for instance had i said nothing tonight she would of been allowed to watch a movie no problem. to me sending wrong signal and message to a kid.
what would any of you do in this situation. i'm disgusted by her behavior, not looking forward to the next time she's here to be honest. i'm upset my difficult child had to witness it and the other younger 2.
any thoughts?? i know i have to be the adult here, yet i'm really feeling like she's only going to be 14 the worst has yet to come. Her dad didnt' handle it how i had hoped he would either. he ofcourse did step in yet a huge calming force as opposed to planting her which is what i would of done.
ok, thanks sorry that was long. i actually climbed out of bed couldnt' sleep to get this out lol......