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extended families.....?
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<blockquote data-quote="P-nut2004" data-source="post: 425831" data-attributes="member: 11740"><p>Jena, I think you were right in asking your bro to remove the post. I also think HD & Shari were right that he was probably aiming it at easy child to get her attention and make a point. Not a good way to do it but I have been guilty of this on FB in the past (jabbing at someone publicly to get their attention) but I don't post about difficult children issues and would be upset if others did.</p><p></p><p>As far as our extended fam goes I was just venting about that in the 'Child Envy' post in GP.....most of them dont 'get it' and either blame me or husband (depending whose family they're in). One in particular 'W' is really horrible, makes ugly remarks, asks rude questions, brings things up in front of others who have no need to know. I have stopped sharing things with W but she is around ALOT as her husband is my DHs cousin and best friend. She and I used to be very close but because she refuses to understand and accept Ls issues I try to distance myself. W is definitely still a difficult child; she, her husband & 1yr old son live with her parents, she is typically very spacey & we joke about it but honestly the more time I spend with her & the more I try to explain things to her (just about life in general) the more I wonder if she has LDs & was never diagnosed, so I try not to be too hard on her even tho her ignorant comments & the fact that she fusses at L constantly drives me nuts!!</p><p></p><p>My brother, who is also 23 by the way but very mature (I take credit for that <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I raised him) is very accepting of Ls dxs, very concerned about her and tries to help as much as he can. He definitely takes a stand with her & tries to help enforce things we set in place. His SO 'KL' however was my BFF and then they got together about a yr ago, her 6yo daughter 'D' is Ls best buddy and has alot of the same issues as L. However KL refuses to accept Ls dxs, thinks the doctors are wrong or she will grow out of it & she shouldnt be on medications, she takes the same attitude toward my own dxs. Personally Im convinced this is because KL's in denial that she and D both need help. </p><p></p><p>My mom and I don't talk much, when I first confided in her about Ls troubles and how stressed I was she told me "Just send L out here to live with me if you can handle it" and proceeded to tell me L has issues because of my issues & Im not being a good mom.....like she would kno. I have issues because of her, she was an abusive alcoholic, left me to care for my baby bro (I swear at 7 I was home alone babysitting my infant bro) then topped it off by taking us to Las Vegas to live in hotels so she could be with an abusive boyfriend. I left at 15 because of this and by 18 had my 12yo bro living with me and raised him right up thru high school and into the Army. So anything my mom says isn't worth a flip & she's too far away for me to worry about it! My dad and gma are both somewhat supportive although they dont understand 'why' L is the was she is, dont approve of the medications & are not patient enough to watch L for me.</p><p></p><p>Most of DHs fam is convinced I must have caused Ls problems, except father in law & SMIL who love me & totally understand because their other son 'J' who is 20 is still a difficult child and has ASPD with a mile long rap sheet. Dhs youngest sister (from father in law & SMIL) is 18 and is Ls favorite relative, L will listen to her, behave for her, its phenomenal to watch. She has decided to move in with us after school ends this year to help me, which I am thrilled about but Im also afraid L will adjust to her as well and not magically behave for her anymore. mother in law is almost as bad as W about yelling at L for everything. mother in law, SFIL & MILs Mom live together & all think L can be disciplined out of this, L does not go see them anymore & they are not informed of anything that happens, same with DHs siblings from mother in law & SFIL.</p><p></p><p>So that's a grand total of 4 ppl in our fams that actually understand L & are fully supportive.</p><p></p><p>As far as friends go Im down to just a couple close ones; one BFF since 7th grade who has difficult child kids and is my kids' "Aunt" and one good friend who doesnt really get it but listens to me without criticizing & is very patient with L although she will not babysit her.</p><p></p><p>LoL didnt realize how long this was til I posted it srry</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="P-nut2004, post: 425831, member: 11740"] Jena, I think you were right in asking your bro to remove the post. I also think HD & Shari were right that he was probably aiming it at easy child to get her attention and make a point. Not a good way to do it but I have been guilty of this on FB in the past (jabbing at someone publicly to get their attention) but I don't post about difficult children issues and would be upset if others did. As far as our extended fam goes I was just venting about that in the 'Child Envy' post in GP.....most of them dont 'get it' and either blame me or husband (depending whose family they're in). One in particular 'W' is really horrible, makes ugly remarks, asks rude questions, brings things up in front of others who have no need to know. I have stopped sharing things with W but she is around ALOT as her husband is my DHs cousin and best friend. She and I used to be very close but because she refuses to understand and accept Ls issues I try to distance myself. W is definitely still a difficult child; she, her husband & 1yr old son live with her parents, she is typically very spacey & we joke about it but honestly the more time I spend with her & the more I try to explain things to her (just about life in general) the more I wonder if she has LDs & was never diagnosed, so I try not to be too hard on her even tho her ignorant comments & the fact that she fusses at L constantly drives me nuts!! My brother, who is also 23 by the way but very mature (I take credit for that ;) I raised him) is very accepting of Ls dxs, very concerned about her and tries to help as much as he can. He definitely takes a stand with her & tries to help enforce things we set in place. His SO 'KL' however was my BFF and then they got together about a yr ago, her 6yo daughter 'D' is Ls best buddy and has alot of the same issues as L. However KL refuses to accept Ls dxs, thinks the doctors are wrong or she will grow out of it & she shouldnt be on medications, she takes the same attitude toward my own dxs. Personally Im convinced this is because KL's in denial that she and D both need help. My mom and I don't talk much, when I first confided in her about Ls troubles and how stressed I was she told me "Just send L out here to live with me if you can handle it" and proceeded to tell me L has issues because of my issues & Im not being a good mom.....like she would kno. I have issues because of her, she was an abusive alcoholic, left me to care for my baby bro (I swear at 7 I was home alone babysitting my infant bro) then topped it off by taking us to Las Vegas to live in hotels so she could be with an abusive boyfriend. I left at 15 because of this and by 18 had my 12yo bro living with me and raised him right up thru high school and into the Army. So anything my mom says isn't worth a flip & she's too far away for me to worry about it! My dad and gma are both somewhat supportive although they dont understand 'why' L is the was she is, dont approve of the medications & are not patient enough to watch L for me. Most of DHs fam is convinced I must have caused Ls problems, except father in law & SMIL who love me & totally understand because their other son 'J' who is 20 is still a difficult child and has ASPD with a mile long rap sheet. Dhs youngest sister (from father in law & SMIL) is 18 and is Ls favorite relative, L will listen to her, behave for her, its phenomenal to watch. She has decided to move in with us after school ends this year to help me, which I am thrilled about but Im also afraid L will adjust to her as well and not magically behave for her anymore. mother in law is almost as bad as W about yelling at L for everything. mother in law, SFIL & MILs Mom live together & all think L can be disciplined out of this, L does not go see them anymore & they are not informed of anything that happens, same with DHs siblings from mother in law & SFIL. So that's a grand total of 4 ppl in our fams that actually understand L & are fully supportive. As far as friends go Im down to just a couple close ones; one BFF since 7th grade who has difficult child kids and is my kids' "Aunt" and one good friend who doesnt really get it but listens to me without criticizing & is very patient with L although she will not babysit her. LoL didnt realize how long this was til I posted it srry [/QUOTE]
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