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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 643497" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>That is the classic bullying situation in the group. Most researched re school bullying, it is a group dynamic situation and it doesn't change even if the main players are removed, there will just be new players for the roles.</p><p></p><p>Which is kind of what I meant. To me it seems like MWM's family of origin does have very toxic interactions with each other. Changing those dynamics would be very hard and require lots of work from all and possibly outside help. That is not likely to happen, I assume. So, what participants can do to escape that toxic interaction, is to detach from it. They may not have a power to change the merry-go-round of their circus, but they can choose not to ride it. And to me it seems that is more or less what they are aiming at. But it of course hurts and there is some going back and worth (on the other hand, it is a familiar merry-go-round and that has it's solace and it is likely not have been all bad and so on.) But I just don't find it likely, that anyone would spend so much of their time simply trying to make their sibling miserable, it is more likely that there is lots of confusion and hurt feelings and inability to change family dynamics in all sides and in the end they just come to a conclusion, one by one, that they have to let it go.</p><p></p><p>MWM: I very well understand that you have had enough of that merry-go-round and are not going to hop right back to it, if you sister tries to get you to do it again. You don't like the rules or your role in the play your family of origin has played for decades, it certainly is wise to decline taking part, because it is unlikely that the dynamics would change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 643497, member: 14557"] That is the classic bullying situation in the group. Most researched re school bullying, it is a group dynamic situation and it doesn't change even if the main players are removed, there will just be new players for the roles. Which is kind of what I meant. To me it seems like MWM's family of origin does have very toxic interactions with each other. Changing those dynamics would be very hard and require lots of work from all and possibly outside help. That is not likely to happen, I assume. So, what participants can do to escape that toxic interaction, is to detach from it. They may not have a power to change the merry-go-round of their circus, but they can choose not to ride it. And to me it seems that is more or less what they are aiming at. But it of course hurts and there is some going back and worth (on the other hand, it is a familiar merry-go-round and that has it's solace and it is likely not have been all bad and so on.) But I just don't find it likely, that anyone would spend so much of their time simply trying to make their sibling miserable, it is more likely that there is lots of confusion and hurt feelings and inability to change family dynamics in all sides and in the end they just come to a conclusion, one by one, that they have to let it go. MWM: I very well understand that you have had enough of that merry-go-round and are not going to hop right back to it, if you sister tries to get you to do it again. You don't like the rules or your role in the play your family of origin has played for decades, it certainly is wise to decline taking part, because it is unlikely that the dynamics would change. [/QUOTE]
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