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Falling apart...
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 38009" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi,</p><p>my difficult child 1 didn't care about consequences either while I was threatening her with them and she didn't much care when I followed through (taking away computer, phone, tv, etc.). These power struggles are a no-win thing--no way a difficult child is going to back down.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it is realistic to expect your kids to appreciate you and what you do for them (til they are grown and out of the house). I think they probably see you as weak if you are expressing any of the sadness and neediness you are feeling. I understand it--I used to feel that way too and the worst thing I could do was show it around them. They really need a strong parent who is not depending on them for their own self-esteem. They need to see that you have a life and you go about it regardless of what they are doing--your moods don't depend on them (I know, much easier said than done)!</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are seeing your therapist today. You do need help and you need empathy--you just aren't going to get it from your kids. I sure do understand the feeling of wishing you'd never had them and feeling trapped by them. You will get stronger and you will feel better, I promise!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 38009, member: 3450"] Hi, my difficult child 1 didn't care about consequences either while I was threatening her with them and she didn't much care when I followed through (taking away computer, phone, tv, etc.). These power struggles are a no-win thing--no way a difficult child is going to back down. I don't think it is realistic to expect your kids to appreciate you and what you do for them (til they are grown and out of the house). I think they probably see you as weak if you are expressing any of the sadness and neediness you are feeling. I understand it--I used to feel that way too and the worst thing I could do was show it around them. They really need a strong parent who is not depending on them for their own self-esteem. They need to see that you have a life and you go about it regardless of what they are doing--your moods don't depend on them (I know, much easier said than done)! I am glad you are seeing your therapist today. You do need help and you need empathy--you just aren't going to get it from your kids. I sure do understand the feeling of wishing you'd never had them and feeling trapped by them. You will get stronger and you will feel better, I promise! Jane [/QUOTE]
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