Falling behind in 1st grade

[allhaileris]

Last year we had issues, but so far this year has apparently been horrible for Eris in school. Her teacher says she doesn't do any work, is constantly distracted, would rather sit and draw, flat out tells the teacher there is no disipline. The teacher claims she's bringing down the entire class. And this is a school where all parents have to volunteer some time so there is always another adult in the class to help out. husband and the teacher have agreed to take away her recess time so she can work on schoolwork, and husband gets there early most days to work with an aide.

She has an IEP so they won't hold her back. I know she's smart enough to learn this, but her test scores show she's far from it (25% on math, 50% on reading).

Homeschooling is NOT an option because I work and husband is horrible at schooling (he volunteers in class, but refuses to help with homework). I don't want her in, nor do I think she's that far off "normal" to need a special needs class.

What would you do? She's been diagnosed with ODD but is showing some slight autistic tendencies. I do as much homework with her as she will allow (I let up once I can tell she has hit that wall). But even with doing all the homework and trying to get her knowledge and skill level up, it still doesn't fix the defiancy in the classroom.

Are there any options?

 

[susiestar]

Has she been tested for learning disabilities? She is still so young that you may not have the entire picture of what is going on with her. Keep pushing for evaluations to help figure the puzzle out.

 

[BusynMember]

Is she has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), she needs special accommodations. My son had them all through school, and now he's doing really well in high school. Does she have the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis? If so, I would push for more aggressive accomodations. These kids often have a much harder time "getting it" and often need one-on-one help.

 

[SRL]

She sounds like she would benefit from having a one on one aide (hired and trained by the district, not a parent). Her test scores, along with the teacher claims she's bringing down the entire class should give you plenty of leverage. An in class aide can provide consistency that rotating parent volunteers cannot.

 

[allhaileris]

No, she hasn't been diagnosed with a learning disorder. No, she hasn't been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but we have her IEP annual meeting soon and I'll bring that up. Her teacher thinks she has it, we think she has some traits, obviously there is something going on.

She DOES have the one on one aide at least a few times a week. Apparently (this is what husband says the teacher says) that she'll go out of the class for her one on one time, and then will miss the lesson in the class and be behind. This seems like poor planning to me. The aide should work on the same thing the teacher is working on so that doesn't happen, right? Or schedule the one on one time during an extra activity, like art.

Should we just wait until her IEP meeting to start sorting this out? What should I push for in the meeting? What do I need to know?

 

[Shari]

I think the one-on-one they are talking about would be someone who works with her in the classroom (instead of pulling her out) and helps keep her directed to the tasks at hand.

If it were me, I would not wait til the IEP meeting. The school likely will not be able to diagnose an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), anyway. I'd try to get her evaluation'ed by a doctor - maybe a neuropsyche or a devped...if the school has evaluations they can do, as well, that would be great and no harm done if she's evaluation'ed twice.

 

[witzend]

Someone said the other day that she compares her child to a blind child when deciding whether he deserves "help" or "punishment". If a blind child accidentally knocks a vase off the table and breaks it, you do not punish. If a blind child throws the vase, you find a consequence. I would ask if you feel that your daughter is doing this on purpose or because she has something that is keeping her from participating more appropriately in school. If it's the latter it seems unfair (and unlikely to help) to restrict recess. It will just make her more angry about school.

Not to be rude, but isn't it more incumbent upon your husband to change than it is upon your daughter? He's the adult here, and he is supposed to guide and help her. If he has the time and can learn how to be a home school teacher, and it can help your daughter get up to speed, why won't he?