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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 557919" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Here's the thing:</p><p></p><p>I was never a, as you put it, "stay at home mousey boring housewife type of woman" either....until my difficult child's needs eclipsed my ability to be a "career woman". A family with a difficult child *does* have a "dysfunctional family unit" compared to the rest of the neighborhood. Our difficult children are not capable of handling the same kinds of things that other kids their age can handle. Our difficult children need constant supervision, accomodations, and compromises that most parents never thought we'd have to make.</p><p></p><p>You, as the non-biological parent, have the *choice* whether to accept the realities of living with a difficult child - or moving on. Vowing to "tolerate quiety in the background" a child you view with resentment is probably not very helpful as a day-to-day stategy...but will be especially hard when times get tough and the whole family needs to pull together to support difficult child.</p><p></p><p>We are happy to offer you advice, help, and support should you decide to accept this child into your life.</p><p></p><p>But - there is not going to be a lot of advice about how to change the child. It will mostly be how best to change yourself in order to help the difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 557919, member: 6546"] Here's the thing: I was never a, as you put it, "stay at home mousey boring housewife type of woman" either....until my difficult child's needs eclipsed my ability to be a "career woman". A family with a difficult child *does* have a "dysfunctional family unit" compared to the rest of the neighborhood. Our difficult children are not capable of handling the same kinds of things that other kids their age can handle. Our difficult children need constant supervision, accomodations, and compromises that most parents never thought we'd have to make. You, as the non-biological parent, have the *choice* whether to accept the realities of living with a difficult child - or moving on. Vowing to "tolerate quiety in the background" a child you view with resentment is probably not very helpful as a day-to-day stategy...but will be especially hard when times get tough and the whole family needs to pull together to support difficult child. We are happy to offer you advice, help, and support should you decide to accept this child into your life. But - there is not going to be a lot of advice about how to change the child. It will mostly be how best to change yourself in order to help the difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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