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General Parenting
Feeling a bit guilty ~ at the same time.....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 376335" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sometimes indulging your negative emotions every time you want to has bad results. go figure.</p><p> </p><p>If wm were six or even 10 it might not have been a good thing to do and might have hurt his development.</p><p> </p><p>At 15 it is important that he learn that NO ONE has to spend ANY time with him if he is scary and dangerous to be around. Family may love you no matter what, but it does NOT mean that they are required to spend time with you on YOUR timetables or tolerate yout dangerous, scary behavior. </p><p> </p><p>And if even family won't visit you or have you over then maybe you better start making some major changes. </p><p> </p><p>You have made sure that wm was given/taught EVERY possible healthy way to interact and to change if he decides he wants to. I think he never really thought that you would choose not to spend time with him no matter what he did. Time for him to figure out the way it really works!!</p><p> </p><p>in my opinion if my bro had been taught this we would have a very different relationship today.</p><p> </p><p>What you said to him, and whatever foster mum said to reinforce it, was really a wonderful gift to wm. It will give him a chance to learn that even though family will give you another choice if you opt to make big changes, healthy families won't allow one member to do scary, dangerous things to them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 376335, member: 1233"] Sometimes indulging your negative emotions every time you want to has bad results. go figure. If wm were six or even 10 it might not have been a good thing to do and might have hurt his development. At 15 it is important that he learn that NO ONE has to spend ANY time with him if he is scary and dangerous to be around. Family may love you no matter what, but it does NOT mean that they are required to spend time with you on YOUR timetables or tolerate yout dangerous, scary behavior. And if even family won't visit you or have you over then maybe you better start making some major changes. You have made sure that wm was given/taught EVERY possible healthy way to interact and to change if he decides he wants to. I think he never really thought that you would choose not to spend time with him no matter what he did. Time for him to figure out the way it really works!! in my opinion if my bro had been taught this we would have a very different relationship today. What you said to him, and whatever foster mum said to reinforce it, was really a wonderful gift to wm. It will give him a chance to learn that even though family will give you another choice if you opt to make big changes, healthy families won't allow one member to do scary, dangerous things to them. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling a bit guilty ~ at the same time.....
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