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Feeling but know it needed to be done
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<blockquote data-quote="svengandhi" data-source="post: 610921" data-attributes="member: 3493"><p>I had to cut ties with my family as well. 20 years ago, my parents retired and moved out west. They had never been good with money and neither was my sister. I earned a nice living but have a family to support, with my H. I told my parents I'd pay some of their bills directly to the creditors. They screamed and yelled and insisted that I send them the money directly. My aunt told me it was so they could send it to my sister so I refused. 15 years ago, I brought them back east and was going to put them up in a small bungalow H and I had bought. They wanted a car, they didn't want to pay me rent, they wanted me to pay utilities and they wanted me to allow my sister, who at that point had moved to the Midwest, to live with them. After 2 months, they returned to the west and I never saw them again. They spoke occasionally to my H. They would send me letters, addressed to my full name, knowing very well that I despise my middle name so much that my children don't even know it, which I refused to read. They would send chintzy gifts (like strings of mardi gras beads from a casino) for presents to the kids.</p><p></p><p>A few years ago, I got a call from my aunt that my father had passed away at least a month earlier. I have no clue where he's buried or if he was cremated. We were dropping daughter off at college when the call came and I made the choice not to tell her then. It completely slipped my mind so at Thanksgiving, when one of the boys mentioned that grandpa was dead, daughter was shocked, not that upset since she hadn't seen or spoken to him since was 6. Since then, when she comes home from school, she always says, OK, who died while I was gone? 6 months later, I got a call from my sister, who had flown out and taken my mom to her home, that said :"you will never see your mother again." Sis has always been melodramatic so I replied, probably not, because I have no plans to visit you. Just under a year later, H decided to call sis' best friend to check on my mom. Well, apparently, my sister's call had been code for telling me that mom had died! I always knew she wouldn't last a year without my dad - they're one of those couples who shouldn't have had kids, they didn't abuse us, but we were clearly not central to their existence.</p><p></p><p>I have not spoken to my sister since then. My aunt is getting older and I debate if I should tell my sister when she dies. As a child, she and my aunt were very close. My aunt doesn't want me to contact her now.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my advice to you is block their numbers with the phone company, block them on Facebook, don't pick up their calls, delete their voicemails without listening to them. I added caller ID when you still had to pay extra for it so I could see who was calling and I screen my calls.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Take care of your kids and ignore the drama.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="svengandhi, post: 610921, member: 3493"] I had to cut ties with my family as well. 20 years ago, my parents retired and moved out west. They had never been good with money and neither was my sister. I earned a nice living but have a family to support, with my H. I told my parents I'd pay some of their bills directly to the creditors. They screamed and yelled and insisted that I send them the money directly. My aunt told me it was so they could send it to my sister so I refused. 15 years ago, I brought them back east and was going to put them up in a small bungalow H and I had bought. They wanted a car, they didn't want to pay me rent, they wanted me to pay utilities and they wanted me to allow my sister, who at that point had moved to the Midwest, to live with them. After 2 months, they returned to the west and I never saw them again. They spoke occasionally to my H. They would send me letters, addressed to my full name, knowing very well that I despise my middle name so much that my children don't even know it, which I refused to read. They would send chintzy gifts (like strings of mardi gras beads from a casino) for presents to the kids. A few years ago, I got a call from my aunt that my father had passed away at least a month earlier. I have no clue where he's buried or if he was cremated. We were dropping daughter off at college when the call came and I made the choice not to tell her then. It completely slipped my mind so at Thanksgiving, when one of the boys mentioned that grandpa was dead, daughter was shocked, not that upset since she hadn't seen or spoken to him since was 6. Since then, when she comes home from school, she always says, OK, who died while I was gone? 6 months later, I got a call from my sister, who had flown out and taken my mom to her home, that said :"you will never see your mother again." Sis has always been melodramatic so I replied, probably not, because I have no plans to visit you. Just under a year later, H decided to call sis' best friend to check on my mom. Well, apparently, my sister's call had been code for telling me that mom had died! I always knew she wouldn't last a year without my dad - they're one of those couples who shouldn't have had kids, they didn't abuse us, but we were clearly not central to their existence. I have not spoken to my sister since then. My aunt is getting older and I debate if I should tell my sister when she dies. As a child, she and my aunt were very close. My aunt doesn't want me to contact her now. Anyway, my advice to you is block their numbers with the phone company, block them on Facebook, don't pick up their calls, delete their voicemails without listening to them. I added caller ID when you still had to pay extra for it so I could see who was calling and I screen my calls. Good luck. Take care of your kids and ignore the drama. [/QUOTE]
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