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Feeling but know it needed to be done
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 610960" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I always thought my DNA situation was unique. I have found, through the years, that many DNA connections are not really family in any real sense of the word, if it includes caring. Many people feel guilty if they cut off their biological connections no matter how abusive they are "because she's my mother/father/sister/brother/son/daughter..."</p><p></p><p>I feel sorry for people who allow themselves to be abused by people just because of accidents of birth. I do understand how deeply we all hope our parents love us...it is an issue that can follow us for a long time, but at some point in time if it isn't going to happen you do yourself a big favor if you give up the hopeless dream. In my group therapy, which I've been in for over ten years, there are people who have told stories of terrible physical, sexual and verbal abuse from parents and yet they ministered to these same parents like slaves when they were dying. Of course, the abusive parents did not appreciate it or apologize to them or even acknowledge mistreatment even as the desperate adult child is heroically trying to help them in their final days. Seems to be the rule that in abusive families, the abusers think the abused "deserved it" and that they didn't do anything wrong. And many of the abused kids desperately try for one last attempt to make daddy/mommy love them...it's very sad.</p><p></p><p>I'm happy for all who are strong enough to get out of the dysfunction and to move on without them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 610960, member: 1550"] I always thought my DNA situation was unique. I have found, through the years, that many DNA connections are not really family in any real sense of the word, if it includes caring. Many people feel guilty if they cut off their biological connections no matter how abusive they are "because she's my mother/father/sister/brother/son/daughter..." I feel sorry for people who allow themselves to be abused by people just because of accidents of birth. I do understand how deeply we all hope our parents love us...it is an issue that can follow us for a long time, but at some point in time if it isn't going to happen you do yourself a big favor if you give up the hopeless dream. In my group therapy, which I've been in for over ten years, there are people who have told stories of terrible physical, sexual and verbal abuse from parents and yet they ministered to these same parents like slaves when they were dying. Of course, the abusive parents did not appreciate it or apologize to them or even acknowledge mistreatment even as the desperate adult child is heroically trying to help them in their final days. Seems to be the rule that in abusive families, the abusers think the abused "deserved it" and that they didn't do anything wrong. And many of the abused kids desperately try for one last attempt to make daddy/mommy love them...it's very sad. I'm happy for all who are strong enough to get out of the dysfunction and to move on without them. [/QUOTE]
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