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Feeling like a bit of a failure
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<blockquote data-quote="Californiablonde" data-source="post: 649975" data-attributes="member: 2196"><p>When it comes to relationships, I suck at it, for lack of a better word. Whether it be friends, boyfriends, or family members, they all seem to leave me at one point my life. I had a very good friend, who I considered my absolute best friend, who I've been close with since high school. This friend and I have known each each other for 25 years and she WAS my kids' godmother. She now says she NEVER considered my kids her godkids since I never put it in writing. We got into a small argument last year which blew up, and she said some incredibly mean and nasty things about me and my kids before deleting and blocking her out of her life. </p><p></p><p>My other good male friend, who suffers from anxiety and bipolar like me, suddenly and unexpectedly blocked me several months ago. We used to talk several times a day, every single day, for two years. He even sent me $100 worth of gifts for my birthday. Then all of a sudden POOF he was gone. A couple of other friends also got deleted by him at the same time as me. I noticed he has added them back but kept me blocked. He always said I was his best friend, so what gives?</p><p></p><p>Another very good friend of mine died unexpectedly after an accidental overdose 7 years ago and I don't have him either. My latest "best" friend, who replaced my former best friend (kids' godmother) suddenly wants nothing to do with me anymore. She has fallen into a deep depression and says she wants no contact. I feel once again hurt and betrayed by someone I thought I mattered to.</p><p></p><p>I am an incredibly sweet, shy person with a big heart. Why do people continue to push me out of their lives? And my love life is a joke. Every single boyfriend I have every had, except for ONE, has cheated on me and left me for somebody better. The only man who did not cheat on me was an abusive jerk and I'm the one who dumped his sorry @ss. Other than him, they always break up with me. I am expecting my current boyfriend (if I can even call him that) to break it off any time. He hasn't kissed me, touched me, or told me he loves me in two years. Once again, I'm not good enough. I hate to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but seriously what gives?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Californiablonde, post: 649975, member: 2196"] When it comes to relationships, I suck at it, for lack of a better word. Whether it be friends, boyfriends, or family members, they all seem to leave me at one point my life. I had a very good friend, who I considered my absolute best friend, who I've been close with since high school. This friend and I have known each each other for 25 years and she WAS my kids' godmother. She now says she NEVER considered my kids her godkids since I never put it in writing. We got into a small argument last year which blew up, and she said some incredibly mean and nasty things about me and my kids before deleting and blocking her out of her life. My other good male friend, who suffers from anxiety and bipolar like me, suddenly and unexpectedly blocked me several months ago. We used to talk several times a day, every single day, for two years. He even sent me $100 worth of gifts for my birthday. Then all of a sudden POOF he was gone. A couple of other friends also got deleted by him at the same time as me. I noticed he has added them back but kept me blocked. He always said I was his best friend, so what gives? Another very good friend of mine died unexpectedly after an accidental overdose 7 years ago and I don't have him either. My latest "best" friend, who replaced my former best friend (kids' godmother) suddenly wants nothing to do with me anymore. She has fallen into a deep depression and says she wants no contact. I feel once again hurt and betrayed by someone I thought I mattered to. I am an incredibly sweet, shy person with a big heart. Why do people continue to push me out of their lives? And my love life is a joke. Every single boyfriend I have every had, except for ONE, has cheated on me and left me for somebody better. The only man who did not cheat on me was an abusive jerk and I'm the one who dumped his sorry @ss. Other than him, they always break up with me. I am expecting my current boyfriend (if I can even call him that) to break it off any time. He hasn't kissed me, touched me, or told me he loves me in two years. Once again, I'm not good enough. I hate to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but seriously what gives? [/QUOTE]
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