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General Parenting
feeling overwhelmed! any advice?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 545750"><p>Hi, and welcome to the board. You will find alot of support and suggestions here and this place has made things easier for me because I know that people here understand.</p><p></p><p>Is you son a black and white thinker? Mine is and it wasn't until I saw how concrete he was about things that I was able to get a better handle on how to talk to him and explain things to him. I'll give to an example. We were riding in the car home from somewhere (can't remember where) and he asked when we were going to be home. husband, who didn't get it at all at the time, gave him a time. "4:00 pm". We hit traffic, 4:00 came and went, and we were still on the road. difficult child had a FIT in the car because husband "lied" to him because he said we would be home by 4:00 and we weren't. He couldn't understand that when husband gave him a specific time that it was dependant on other things, like traffic. As he's gotten older it's gotten a little better, but I still find myself explaining things to him, or giving vague answers so that I don't get caught in that trap.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had some advice for you about that family ignoring the diagnosis. That helps no one, especially you. I know what really helped to get husband's family on board was for them to really see him in action and for me to call down to their house for help (they live around the corner) on more than one occasion when I felt physically threatened. They saw quickly that I wasn't exaggerating about the problems (as I had been told I was) and that the problem was not that I was a bad mother. The problem was that difficult child had problems going on that we could not see and that made them really hard to deal with and diagnose. Stick to your guns and do what you mommy gut tells you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 545750"] Hi, and welcome to the board. You will find alot of support and suggestions here and this place has made things easier for me because I know that people here understand. Is you son a black and white thinker? Mine is and it wasn't until I saw how concrete he was about things that I was able to get a better handle on how to talk to him and explain things to him. I'll give to an example. We were riding in the car home from somewhere (can't remember where) and he asked when we were going to be home. husband, who didn't get it at all at the time, gave him a time. "4:00 pm". We hit traffic, 4:00 came and went, and we were still on the road. difficult child had a FIT in the car because husband "lied" to him because he said we would be home by 4:00 and we weren't. He couldn't understand that when husband gave him a specific time that it was dependant on other things, like traffic. As he's gotten older it's gotten a little better, but I still find myself explaining things to him, or giving vague answers so that I don't get caught in that trap. I wish I had some advice for you about that family ignoring the diagnosis. That helps no one, especially you. I know what really helped to get husband's family on board was for them to really see him in action and for me to call down to their house for help (they live around the corner) on more than one occasion when I felt physically threatened. They saw quickly that I wasn't exaggerating about the problems (as I had been told I was) and that the problem was not that I was a bad mother. The problem was that difficult child had problems going on that we could not see and that made them really hard to deal with and diagnose. Stick to your guns and do what you mommy gut tells you. [/QUOTE]
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