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Substance Abuse
Feeling sad for daughter in law and my grandchildren...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 620067" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Thank you childofmine,</p><p> </p><p>The "letting go, surrendering, accepting what is, detaching"...these things certainly did not happen over night. It has been a looooooooooooong process.</p><p> </p><p>It's difficult too when they're young. People tell you to do this and do that, go here, try this that, blah, blah, blah...and so we did. </p><p> </p><p>Here is a recap of the "adventures with young difficult child".</p><p>At around age 13, young difficult child and his brother began "experimenting" with drugs. We were living in our dream home (that we had worked 15 yr to get to) in the mountains of Colorado, outside of Denver. After my son's drug use became apparent, I grounded them, took computer priveledges away, had meetings at our home with other parents, etc...and eventually gave up our home in the mountains to move back to Texas where SURELY they would enjoy the childhood life they once knew and get back on track! </p><p> </p><p>Within 4 months, both of my son's were caught (young difficult child huffing glade and Oldest difficult child using Cocaine). We, upon the advise and recommendation of the school system, sent them to a highly recommended Drug Rehab. Young difficult child was there for 4 months and oldest difficult child was there for 6 months. The Rehab basically wanted us to give Oldest difficult child up to the state of Tx as he was deemed untreatable...CD to the max, a potentially dangerous criminal as he was also very intelligent, charming, and good looking. Enough so, that one of the Rehab staff members (age 19 we understand) came to our house to "be with" oldest difficult child after he was discharged. </p><p> </p><p>Then came Alternative school. Oh, and meawhile oldest difficult child was handcuffed and lead away at school to jail for making terroristic threat towards another student...he was later expelled.</p><p>Alternative school didn't last long for young difficult child and he too was later sent to Jail school, then kicked out of jail school, and so we sent him to a "wilderness boarding school" program in Montana. He lasted 9 days there...they were ready to send him to their more "punitive program" in Jamaica! We spared him from that one and drove to Montana to pick him up. </p><p> </p><p>Then came Juvie after he destroyed his room and stole jewelry from us...we left him there for a month. Oh and then there was the time oldest difficult child pulled out a knife and threatend to cut himself, police called, oldest difficult child almost getting shot across the street from our house with all the neighbors looking...I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I was so scared for both of my son's. </p><p> </p><p>And another time when oldest difficult child pulled a butter knife out on young difficult child and was taken to jail (after young difficult child had called 911) for aggravated assault. The judge decided to drop that case. </p><p> </p><p>Then...more on young difficult child...We tried church school and homeschooling...finally we just let him get his GED.</p><p> </p><p>Then young difficult child decides to marry at 18. Gets wife promptly pregnant and joins the Army. We house wife with us...</p><p>Then young difficult child gets kicked out of Army...General discharge under honorable conditions. </p><p> </p><p>Then he comes home and starts working for husband...while oldest difficult child has been in prison rehab for over a yr for stealing over 10K worth of computer equip from one of husband's clients...a law firm! Eventually husband loses that client.</p><p> </p><p>Then oldest difficult child decided to spit on a police officer while in ER waiting for a bed as he just overdosed on pills. He is taken to Jail instead of psychiatric hospital. He eventually goes on to hit the windsheild of his wife's car with his fist and is rearrested and because of this has broken his probation requirements and eventually must go to prison for a yr.</p><p> </p><p>All the while...we or daughter in law's mother have been supporting their growing family. Last baby girl born while Young difficult child was in Prison for the 1012 yr. They are all beautiful, smart, funny children. All of the grandparents have been guilty as charged of enabling due to the grands.</p><p> </p><p>And so here we are...Young difficult child was given a Truck, a Job, a phone, rides to AA meetings and his Parole officers, only to give it all up within 3 months. He told us, "It is my body and I can put whatever substance I want in it". We in essence told him it is our house and we do not have to allow you to live in it. </p><p> </p><p>He had a job with his brother's business then. He gave it up after fighting with people and decided to work for competing company. That company fired him within 3 weeks.</p><p> </p><p>And so he has been "hospital hopping" for many months now. He does have a "bad back" but moreover a serious pain pill addiction. His wife even things that he might have "thrown himself" down the stairs at times to make his back worse. He even claimed one night several months ago, that he got "hit by a car"...more like he jumped in front of one! I am not kidding. THAT is how much he wants his pain pills. </p><p> </p><p>So now he is at State Pysch hospital. He has met a 37 yr old who is making him feel temporarily like he is a good guy who's been done wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I wrote a book, lol. </p><p>But you can probibly see the extent of just how "conditional" our love has been. Did I mention through all of this has been a easy child daughter who has had a few of her own struggles...little doubt she has paid a price for all that we have been through for her brothers. But don't worry, she is a survivor, and I am ever so proud of her!</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for letting me share...and for caring. </p><p>As I said, it's been a process. Young difficult child turns 25 next week...Feb 19th. We are know longer at the Mercy of popular wisdom from authorities who are telling us what to do. husband and I can finally "let go and let God". It's been a long road to get here...but I refuse to turn back. I give my son his life to live. And I am allowing myself to have one too... </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 620067, member: 3305"] Thank you childofmine, The "letting go, surrendering, accepting what is, detaching"...these things certainly did not happen over night. It has been a looooooooooooong process. It's difficult too when they're young. People tell you to do this and do that, go here, try this that, blah, blah, blah...and so we did. Here is a recap of the "adventures with young difficult child". At around age 13, young difficult child and his brother began "experimenting" with drugs. We were living in our dream home (that we had worked 15 yr to get to) in the mountains of Colorado, outside of Denver. After my son's drug use became apparent, I grounded them, took computer priveledges away, had meetings at our home with other parents, etc...and eventually gave up our home in the mountains to move back to Texas where SURELY they would enjoy the childhood life they once knew and get back on track! Within 4 months, both of my son's were caught (young difficult child huffing glade and Oldest difficult child using Cocaine). We, upon the advise and recommendation of the school system, sent them to a highly recommended Drug Rehab. Young difficult child was there for 4 months and oldest difficult child was there for 6 months. The Rehab basically wanted us to give Oldest difficult child up to the state of Tx as he was deemed untreatable...CD to the max, a potentially dangerous criminal as he was also very intelligent, charming, and good looking. Enough so, that one of the Rehab staff members (age 19 we understand) came to our house to "be with" oldest difficult child after he was discharged. Then came Alternative school. Oh, and meawhile oldest difficult child was handcuffed and lead away at school to jail for making terroristic threat towards another student...he was later expelled. Alternative school didn't last long for young difficult child and he too was later sent to Jail school, then kicked out of jail school, and so we sent him to a "wilderness boarding school" program in Montana. He lasted 9 days there...they were ready to send him to their more "punitive program" in Jamaica! We spared him from that one and drove to Montana to pick him up. Then came Juvie after he destroyed his room and stole jewelry from us...we left him there for a month. Oh and then there was the time oldest difficult child pulled out a knife and threatend to cut himself, police called, oldest difficult child almost getting shot across the street from our house with all the neighbors looking...I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I was so scared for both of my son's. And another time when oldest difficult child pulled a butter knife out on young difficult child and was taken to jail (after young difficult child had called 911) for aggravated assault. The judge decided to drop that case. Then...more on young difficult child...We tried church school and homeschooling...finally we just let him get his GED. Then young difficult child decides to marry at 18. Gets wife promptly pregnant and joins the Army. We house wife with us... Then young difficult child gets kicked out of Army...General discharge under honorable conditions. Then he comes home and starts working for husband...while oldest difficult child has been in prison rehab for over a yr for stealing over 10K worth of computer equip from one of husband's clients...a law firm! Eventually husband loses that client. Then oldest difficult child decided to spit on a police officer while in ER waiting for a bed as he just overdosed on pills. He is taken to Jail instead of psychiatric hospital. He eventually goes on to hit the windsheild of his wife's car with his fist and is rearrested and because of this has broken his probation requirements and eventually must go to prison for a yr. All the while...we or daughter in law's mother have been supporting their growing family. Last baby girl born while Young difficult child was in Prison for the 1012 yr. They are all beautiful, smart, funny children. All of the grandparents have been guilty as charged of enabling due to the grands. And so here we are...Young difficult child was given a Truck, a Job, a phone, rides to AA meetings and his Parole officers, only to give it all up within 3 months. He told us, "It is my body and I can put whatever substance I want in it". We in essence told him it is our house and we do not have to allow you to live in it. He had a job with his brother's business then. He gave it up after fighting with people and decided to work for competing company. That company fired him within 3 weeks. And so he has been "hospital hopping" for many months now. He does have a "bad back" but moreover a serious pain pill addiction. His wife even things that he might have "thrown himself" down the stairs at times to make his back worse. He even claimed one night several months ago, that he got "hit by a car"...more like he jumped in front of one! I am not kidding. THAT is how much he wants his pain pills. So now he is at State Pysch hospital. He has met a 37 yr old who is making him feel temporarily like he is a good guy who's been done wrong. Anyway, I wrote a book, lol. But you can probibly see the extent of just how "conditional" our love has been. Did I mention through all of this has been a easy child daughter who has had a few of her own struggles...little doubt she has paid a price for all that we have been through for her brothers. But don't worry, she is a survivor, and I am ever so proud of her! Thanks for letting me share...and for caring. As I said, it's been a process. Young difficult child turns 25 next week...Feb 19th. We are know longer at the Mercy of popular wisdom from authorities who are telling us what to do. husband and I can finally "let go and let God". It's been a long road to get here...but I refuse to turn back. I give my son his life to live. And I am allowing myself to have one too... LMS [/QUOTE]
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