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Substance Abuse
Feeling sad for daughter in law and my grandchildren...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 620083" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>TL, Yes, I am beginning to see young difficult child more clearly. He is not the sweet, somewhat awkward, weather seeking, lego building, daydreamer of a child anymore. He is ill. He is an addict. He has a disease and a chemical brain disorder too. I do not like who he has become...I used to think he and I were one in the same in many ways. But not anymore. He wants to be a victim. He wants others to take care of him. He wants to blame everyone. He does not accept responsibility...not for his children and not for himself. </p><p> </p><p>childofmine,</p><p>You are such a dear person and I thank you for sharing your story with me. Does it take 10yrs? Oh Lord I hope not...for me it did, but I hope with all the supports you have in place your freedom and that of your son's will come more quickly. </p><p>I fought so hard to control all of it regarding my difficult child's. If only I do this or that next, say this or that next...I will save the day! LOL.</p><p> </p><p>8 yrs ago I had a full blown psychotic breakdown...complete with hallucinations (hearing, seeing, even smelling things that were not real). I tried (near the end of this episode) to pull a gun out of a police officers holster and shoot myself. That is when I was taken to the pych hospital against my will. This is how bad things got for me...I finally lost. my. mind.</p><p> </p><p>They say if I ever have another psychotic breakdown that they may not be able to bring me back. I cannot allow my mind to be broken again. It was a horrifying experience.</p><p> </p><p>I don't blame my son's today for this...I was the one trying to play God. I was the one who was going to save the day...save my son's.</p><p> </p><p>childofmine...please keep taking care of YOURSELF. </p><p>We will be with you along the way. You are a very kind and a VERY giving person. We can all see that on the board. </p><p>You must be very diligent to nourish your own spirit, your thoughts, your life...and always remember that you are not ultimately in charge of the outcome. Faith is SO important in my humble opinion. I tried to be superhuman and it backfired. It almost cost me everything. </p><p> </p><p>DDD, </p><p>Smiles...thank you my friend. Your support has always meant so much to me. I'm glad you're proud of me. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs and love to you all. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 620083, member: 3305"] TL, Yes, I am beginning to see young difficult child more clearly. He is not the sweet, somewhat awkward, weather seeking, lego building, daydreamer of a child anymore. He is ill. He is an addict. He has a disease and a chemical brain disorder too. I do not like who he has become...I used to think he and I were one in the same in many ways. But not anymore. He wants to be a victim. He wants others to take care of him. He wants to blame everyone. He does not accept responsibility...not for his children and not for himself. childofmine, You are such a dear person and I thank you for sharing your story with me. Does it take 10yrs? Oh Lord I hope not...for me it did, but I hope with all the supports you have in place your freedom and that of your son's will come more quickly. I fought so hard to control all of it regarding my difficult child's. If only I do this or that next, say this or that next...I will save the day! LOL. 8 yrs ago I had a full blown psychotic breakdown...complete with hallucinations (hearing, seeing, even smelling things that were not real). I tried (near the end of this episode) to pull a gun out of a police officers holster and shoot myself. That is when I was taken to the pych hospital against my will. This is how bad things got for me...I finally lost. my. mind. They say if I ever have another psychotic breakdown that they may not be able to bring me back. I cannot allow my mind to be broken again. It was a horrifying experience. I don't blame my son's today for this...I was the one trying to play God. I was the one who was going to save the day...save my son's. childofmine...please keep taking care of YOURSELF. We will be with you along the way. You are a very kind and a VERY giving person. We can all see that on the board. You must be very diligent to nourish your own spirit, your thoughts, your life...and always remember that you are not ultimately in charge of the outcome. Faith is SO important in my humble opinion. I tried to be superhuman and it backfired. It almost cost me everything. DDD, Smiles...thank you my friend. Your support has always meant so much to me. I'm glad you're proud of me. Hugs and love to you all. LMS [/QUOTE]
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Feeling sad for daughter in law and my grandchildren...
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