Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Feeling sad for daughter in law and my grandchildren...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 620579" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>It really is a Damned if you do or don't situation, isn't it! </p><p> </p><p>Sig, I too was trying to go against the grain of the way I was raised. My mother basically "threw me to the wolves" and was NEVER involved with my school work...never sat down once to help me. She was a fairly negligent parent until my behavior became such a problem at around age 13 that she began to make changes FINALLY that benefited me. She was only 17 when she had me...and she raised me alone.</p><p>So, Of course I did the opposite, lol...sigh.</p><p>I wanted one husband for life, a large family, stability, to be a stay at home mom that gave the very best to her children...You know Ozzie and Harriet, lol.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I guess what echo's in my mind so loudly now is to teach them to learn how to DO FOR SELF. Both of my son's have a very strong sense of entitlement. We have been expected to bleed dry mentally, emotionally, physically, financially for them. </p><p>Young difficult child told me the other day that my "love won't feed" him. And oldest difficult child would love to be like ONE of his friends...who is a Trust fund baby. Oh brother!</p><p> </p><p>My oldest has transfered his addictive tendencies into being a workaholic now. He is however responsible today...owns his own home, pays his bills on time, provides well for his 3 daughters. He is trying to be successful. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a relationship with him anymore as my Bipolar Disorder and psychotic breakdown 7 yrs ago, scares he and his wife. </p><p> </p><p>So much was done out of love for them. Both of my son's are very intelligent...just not very smart! Neither of them graduated HS...both received only their GED's. Your's has shown tremendous potential in the past...and I can only imagine the agony you have felt knowing this.</p><p> </p><p>My son's were hit with a double whammy from both sides of the family tree. We were BOUND to end up with at least one addict! </p><p> </p><p>My easy child goes to school at night for Massage Therapy (something she's doing on the side to help support her through her Master's Degree). She goes to University school during the day (taking online classes this semester) AND she works 20 hrs a week at a nearby gas station. </p><p> </p><p>So 2 out of 3 aint bad, right?</p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow is young difficult child's 25th birthday. I can't go back and redo anything. I did, as you did, act out of love and what I thought was best for my son's at the time. </p><p>There are just a few things I would tweak now and hope to God it may benefit my grandchildren...or at least their mother in raising them. She is a very selfless, beautiful soul...but BIG time enabler. </p><p> </p><p>And...I read a quote on FB this morning. It said, Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond. </p><p>I hope our difficult child's will start responding...waking up and taking responsibility for themselves. Asking for help from other's and their Higher Power when they need it. </p><p> </p><p>We all did and do our best.</p><p>hugs to you, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 620579, member: 3305"] It really is a Damned if you do or don't situation, isn't it! Sig, I too was trying to go against the grain of the way I was raised. My mother basically "threw me to the wolves" and was NEVER involved with my school work...never sat down once to help me. She was a fairly negligent parent until my behavior became such a problem at around age 13 that she began to make changes FINALLY that benefited me. She was only 17 when she had me...and she raised me alone. So, Of course I did the opposite, lol...sigh. I wanted one husband for life, a large family, stability, to be a stay at home mom that gave the very best to her children...You know Ozzie and Harriet, lol. I guess what echo's in my mind so loudly now is to teach them to learn how to DO FOR SELF. Both of my son's have a very strong sense of entitlement. We have been expected to bleed dry mentally, emotionally, physically, financially for them. Young difficult child told me the other day that my "love won't feed" him. And oldest difficult child would love to be like ONE of his friends...who is a Trust fund baby. Oh brother! My oldest has transfered his addictive tendencies into being a workaholic now. He is however responsible today...owns his own home, pays his bills on time, provides well for his 3 daughters. He is trying to be successful. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a relationship with him anymore as my Bipolar Disorder and psychotic breakdown 7 yrs ago, scares he and his wife. So much was done out of love for them. Both of my son's are very intelligent...just not very smart! Neither of them graduated HS...both received only their GED's. Your's has shown tremendous potential in the past...and I can only imagine the agony you have felt knowing this. My son's were hit with a double whammy from both sides of the family tree. We were BOUND to end up with at least one addict! My easy child goes to school at night for Massage Therapy (something she's doing on the side to help support her through her Master's Degree). She goes to University school during the day (taking online classes this semester) AND she works 20 hrs a week at a nearby gas station. So 2 out of 3 aint bad, right? Tomorrow is young difficult child's 25th birthday. I can't go back and redo anything. I did, as you did, act out of love and what I thought was best for my son's at the time. There are just a few things I would tweak now and hope to God it may benefit my grandchildren...or at least their mother in raising them. She is a very selfless, beautiful soul...but BIG time enabler. And...I read a quote on FB this morning. It said, Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond. I hope our difficult child's will start responding...waking up and taking responsibility for themselves. Asking for help from other's and their Higher Power when they need it. We all did and do our best. hugs to you, LMS [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Feeling sad for daughter in law and my grandchildren...
Top