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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 663586" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Thank you very much. I am feeling that it is the right thing.</p><p></p><p>I am seeing 2 therapists, each weekly, because I am doing so poorly. I cannot go on antidepressants because I have had simple partial seizures after brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumor. I would stay awake, but would lose all feeling down my right side for about 10 minutes. I felt like "The Night of the Living Dead", an old movie I had seen.</p><p></p><p>Now I am better, but still get numb at times of stress, like when my son used to throw things with such force that they would go through the vinyl flooring to the cement... So, my son living in my home was bad for me physically and emotionally. Antidepressants can lower your threshold to seizures...so no antidepressants.</p><p></p><p>One of the therapists is very severe and wants me to take all of the money out. She also wants me to take all of his furniture and things from his room and put them in storage. It has only been 6 weeks. The restraining order says that he can come back with the police one time to get his things. He probably won't do this, but I do not want to remove them. I have boxed his things. I am using his room for storage.</p><p></p><p>She also wants me to go one step further. She wants me to put the storage in his name and and have them leave a key for him at the front desk. She wants the charge of the storage, let's say $30 or $40, to be automatically debited from his account each month. She said that he would see where it was going. It would be on him to let his things go or keep paying.</p><p></p><p>He has no place to live. He is only taking $20 or $40 out at a time. I do not want to do this to him. He has enough on his plate. Why add to his delusions about me? This would make me a much larger 'target' for him. Just the thought, is causing fear! I am even seriously considering lying to my therapust. Healthy, right? Paying to lie...</p><p></p><p>The other therapist is much, much kinder and agrees with me. She understands why I do not want to put his things in storage. She is a lot more hopeful about my son's prognosis and future. I can only go to her 6 more times because she is not under my plan. Sadly, it is just temporary.</p><p></p><p>The stricter therapist says that he is no longer my son and that there is nothing more that I can do for him. The nicer one says that he is still your son, but the illness is making him act this way. She says that he could get better with treatment. The other one feels that his prognosis is very poor...even with treatment. She feels that he is too far gone.</p><p></p><p>They both say that being on the streets makes their symptoms get worse and that he could then be brought in if he is acting very scary to others or acts aggressively. Usually, they do not seek help...but some do because they get tired living on the streets.</p><p></p><p>They both agree that he could not have lived in an apartment or a room the way that he is now. Too dangerous for others. I was asked how I would feel if he hurt or killed somebody. He could have delusions and hallucinations about the other tenants. I was feeling guilty, of course, about not having tried this earlier. </p><p></p><p>I tried it when he came back 9 years ago after living in his car for a year, but he never let us in or answered the phone. He did not go to school, as planned, or work, or see friends. He moved back home after 4 months. At that time, I did not know that he was having delusions. Much later, he told me that a strange man kept following him wherever he went when he lived in his car in another state. There was a missing persons report filed by me at that time. The police would talk to him about calling me, but he said he should, but couldn't.</p><p></p><p>My brother's ex girlfriend had the man above her, in her gated condo, break her door in with an axe. Thankfully, she was not home. He had delusions about her being his exgirlfriend. He had pictures of her on the walls with her face crossed out.</p><p></p><p>At the shelter, they are supposed to be very good at counseling people. I am hoping in time... </p><p>Ten years ago when he was homeless, he stayed under the radar. He was not as bad then and even did some temp agency work. He slept in his car.</p><p></p><p>He is the one who has always turned down my suggestions for SSI. He does not think that he is sick. He still thinks, on some level, that he could work. His delusions prevent it. I know that he couldn't work without treatment.</p><p></p><p>I cannot do anything now to help him get SSI or treatment. I cannot get a conservatorship until he is diagnosed. He has to be brought into a hospital and held. Then I could pursue it. It is still very difficult to do and prove in court, even if he had numerous hospitalizations. </p><p></p><p>My youngest son is his contact person because he is not on the restraining order. He is safe by proxy. He would have had to file his own order and he has never been threatened. We got him a phone, but he let it die. Probably worried about spies... My youngest son said that he is probably mad at him because he let the police into the house. Also, during the last 10 years, he has never called either of my other sons and only called me 2 or 3 times.</p><p></p><p>My youngest son could be his conservator, if I couldn't because of the restraining order. I do not know if I can now.</p><p></p><p>I am hoping that he will get help or be picked up by the police. Again, they would contact my youngest son if he is brought to a hospital for evaluation or arrested with the missing persons report in place. The log of threats and violent behavior, compiled by me, could be used in deciding if there will be an involuntary hold.</p><p></p><p>Most of the parents in NAMI did not give them money, including the director. They wanted them to unravel quicker. Most of their adult children were brought in and subsequently helped. But, not all of them. I know of one in my two support groups who's son is still homeless after 8 years without money being given.</p><p></p><p>My only contact is the bank account. It is all that I have. I never thought that it would turn out this way, but I had no choice. He was very dangerous in my house and he would never have left without the police. I wish that I had been present. At first, the police said yes and then, no. My youngest son said that it would have made it much worse. I just wish that I could have talked to him...one last time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 663586, member: 19245"] Thank you very much. I am feeling that it is the right thing. I am seeing 2 therapists, each weekly, because I am doing so poorly. I cannot go on antidepressants because I have had simple partial seizures after brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumor. I would stay awake, but would lose all feeling down my right side for about 10 minutes. I felt like "The Night of the Living Dead", an old movie I had seen. Now I am better, but still get numb at times of stress, like when my son used to throw things with such force that they would go through the vinyl flooring to the cement... So, my son living in my home was bad for me physically and emotionally. Antidepressants can lower your threshold to seizures...so no antidepressants. One of the therapists is very severe and wants me to take all of the money out. She also wants me to take all of his furniture and things from his room and put them in storage. It has only been 6 weeks. The restraining order says that he can come back with the police one time to get his things. He probably won't do this, but I do not want to remove them. I have boxed his things. I am using his room for storage. She also wants me to go one step further. She wants me to put the storage in his name and and have them leave a key for him at the front desk. She wants the charge of the storage, let's say $30 or $40, to be automatically debited from his account each month. She said that he would see where it was going. It would be on him to let his things go or keep paying. He has no place to live. He is only taking $20 or $40 out at a time. I do not want to do this to him. He has enough on his plate. Why add to his delusions about me? This would make me a much larger 'target' for him. Just the thought, is causing fear! I am even seriously considering lying to my therapust. Healthy, right? Paying to lie... The other therapist is much, much kinder and agrees with me. She understands why I do not want to put his things in storage. She is a lot more hopeful about my son's prognosis and future. I can only go to her 6 more times because she is not under my plan. Sadly, it is just temporary. The stricter therapist says that he is no longer my son and that there is nothing more that I can do for him. The nicer one says that he is still your son, but the illness is making him act this way. She says that he could get better with treatment. The other one feels that his prognosis is very poor...even with treatment. She feels that he is too far gone. They both say that being on the streets makes their symptoms get worse and that he could then be brought in if he is acting very scary to others or acts aggressively. Usually, they do not seek help...but some do because they get tired living on the streets. They both agree that he could not have lived in an apartment or a room the way that he is now. Too dangerous for others. I was asked how I would feel if he hurt or killed somebody. He could have delusions and hallucinations about the other tenants. I was feeling guilty, of course, about not having tried this earlier. I tried it when he came back 9 years ago after living in his car for a year, but he never let us in or answered the phone. He did not go to school, as planned, or work, or see friends. He moved back home after 4 months. At that time, I did not know that he was having delusions. Much later, he told me that a strange man kept following him wherever he went when he lived in his car in another state. There was a missing persons report filed by me at that time. The police would talk to him about calling me, but he said he should, but couldn't. My brother's ex girlfriend had the man above her, in her gated condo, break her door in with an axe. Thankfully, she was not home. He had delusions about her being his exgirlfriend. He had pictures of her on the walls with her face crossed out. At the shelter, they are supposed to be very good at counseling people. I am hoping in time... Ten years ago when he was homeless, he stayed under the radar. He was not as bad then and even did some temp agency work. He slept in his car. He is the one who has always turned down my suggestions for SSI. He does not think that he is sick. He still thinks, on some level, that he could work. His delusions prevent it. I know that he couldn't work without treatment. I cannot do anything now to help him get SSI or treatment. I cannot get a conservatorship until he is diagnosed. He has to be brought into a hospital and held. Then I could pursue it. It is still very difficult to do and prove in court, even if he had numerous hospitalizations. My youngest son is his contact person because he is not on the restraining order. He is safe by proxy. He would have had to file his own order and he has never been threatened. We got him a phone, but he let it die. Probably worried about spies... My youngest son said that he is probably mad at him because he let the police into the house. Also, during the last 10 years, he has never called either of my other sons and only called me 2 or 3 times. My youngest son could be his conservator, if I couldn't because of the restraining order. I do not know if I can now. I am hoping that he will get help or be picked up by the police. Again, they would contact my youngest son if he is brought to a hospital for evaluation or arrested with the missing persons report in place. The log of threats and violent behavior, compiled by me, could be used in deciding if there will be an involuntary hold. Most of the parents in NAMI did not give them money, including the director. They wanted them to unravel quicker. Most of their adult children were brought in and subsequently helped. But, not all of them. I know of one in my two support groups who's son is still homeless after 8 years without money being given. My only contact is the bank account. It is all that I have. I never thought that it would turn out this way, but I had no choice. He was very dangerous in my house and he would never have left without the police. I wish that I had been present. At first, the police said yes and then, no. My youngest son said that it would have made it much worse. I just wish that I could have talked to him...one last time. [/QUOTE]
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