Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 703780" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Yes, what you say is true. We can control how we respond the the 'ride'.</p><p></p><p>But, you also say, that we have a choice of which ride to go on, to a point. I have been going on Wild Ride since I was 11. My schizophrenic sister, my first Vietnam vet husband, and then my schizophrenic son all threatened my life on a pretty regular basis. True, I could get off of the 'ride' with my first husband, which I did in time.</p><p></p><p>If you carry the analogy, I chose and perhaps even tolerated his abuse because I was very used to being on that scary 'ride'. But, even after the divorce I endured stalking, phone harrassment, threats, mediation, night terrors, my sons having to be with him, and the list goes on.</p><p></p><p>Then, lastly my ill son started to threaten my life after about 3 years of his illness...for about 10 years.</p><p></p><p>I was a minor most of the time with my schizophrenic sister and still lived at home. I felt responsible for my son.</p><p></p><p>I did not chose this 'ride'. Maybe, I chose the first husband 'ride'. But, I became pregnant and did the good girl from Sherman Oaks thing. I got married.</p><p></p><p>Again, he felt strangely familiar. I had been on this 'ride before. I already disassociated with ease without even realizing it.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I am handling it very well. I am trying to carry on bravely. I have the psychological scars now, as well as, the continued threat from my son. I am so burned-out, that my ptsd is intruding on my chance to have a good 'ride'.</p><p></p><p>I want to go on Dumbo. I deserve to go on Dumbo. I should not have to be brave any more. With my ptsd, my bravery still exists, but is taken over, not by my choice, by unfettered fear. I am brave still, but my body is betraying me at every turn at night...alone.</p><p></p><p>I want to sail through life. It is my turn. I deserve one turn on that 'ride'.</p><p></p><p>I guess, I got to ride on Dumbo for my first 11 years of life. But, I was unable to truly cherish it for what it was; a fun, safe life.</p><p></p><p>To continue the analogy. I used to love the Storybook Ride. You go aboard a little boat which takes you through a sweet charming ride alongside miniature lit up houses that correspond with well-known fairy tales and stories. Mr Toad's huge Toad's Hall is on this ride. It is not scary on this ride.</p><p></p><p>This 'ride' is more true to life. We just see quick glimpses into their seemingly happy lives. The lights are on in the quaint houses. They have perfectly manicured yards and gardens. Laughter and cheerful music is heard across the green lawn by us on our Storybook boat.</p><p></p><p>But, what is really going on in these seemingly idyllic abodes. Are things being thrown? Are people being threatened? Are people afraid? I dare say, that might be a truer 'ride'.</p><p></p><p>Or am I just reflecting upon it now, through my Mr. Toad's Wild Ride eyes?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 703780, member: 19245"] Yes, what you say is true. We can control how we respond the the 'ride'. But, you also say, that we have a choice of which ride to go on, to a point. I have been going on Wild Ride since I was 11. My schizophrenic sister, my first Vietnam vet husband, and then my schizophrenic son all threatened my life on a pretty regular basis. True, I could get off of the 'ride' with my first husband, which I did in time. If you carry the analogy, I chose and perhaps even tolerated his abuse because I was very used to being on that scary 'ride'. But, even after the divorce I endured stalking, phone harrassment, threats, mediation, night terrors, my sons having to be with him, and the list goes on. Then, lastly my ill son started to threaten my life after about 3 years of his illness...for about 10 years. I was a minor most of the time with my schizophrenic sister and still lived at home. I felt responsible for my son. I did not chose this 'ride'. Maybe, I chose the first husband 'ride'. But, I became pregnant and did the good girl from Sherman Oaks thing. I got married. Again, he felt strangely familiar. I had been on this 'ride before. I already disassociated with ease without even realizing it. Yes, I am handling it very well. I am trying to carry on bravely. I have the psychological scars now, as well as, the continued threat from my son. I am so burned-out, that my ptsd is intruding on my chance to have a good 'ride'. I want to go on Dumbo. I deserve to go on Dumbo. I should not have to be brave any more. With my ptsd, my bravery still exists, but is taken over, not by my choice, by unfettered fear. I am brave still, but my body is betraying me at every turn at night...alone. I want to sail through life. It is my turn. I deserve one turn on that 'ride'. I guess, I got to ride on Dumbo for my first 11 years of life. But, I was unable to truly cherish it for what it was; a fun, safe life. To continue the analogy. I used to love the Storybook Ride. You go aboard a little boat which takes you through a sweet charming ride alongside miniature lit up houses that correspond with well-known fairy tales and stories. Mr Toad's huge Toad's Hall is on this ride. It is not scary on this ride. This 'ride' is more true to life. We just see quick glimpses into their seemingly happy lives. The lights are on in the quaint houses. They have perfectly manicured yards and gardens. Laughter and cheerful music is heard across the green lawn by us on our Storybook boat. But, what is really going on in these seemingly idyllic abodes. Are things being thrown? Are people being threatened? Are people afraid? I dare say, that might be a truer 'ride'. Or am I just reflecting upon it now, through my Mr. Toad's Wild Ride eyes? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
Top