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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703902" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I would try to sell them on Ebay and make some money.</p><p></p><p>Feeling. With respect to missing your son, and fearing you won't see him--over that you have no control, that is true. But that does not mean you have to go to the dark side. Believe you will never again in your life see him. Because that is something that you cannot know. Nobody can.</p><p></p><p>I believe truly that you will. It is just that you do not know when or how. There is not only doubt, there is a complete black-out on information, control.</p><p></p><p>You turn that against yourself and start beating yourself up. It becomes a symptom. Because of your guilt. And you know very clearly and well, that your lifetime has given you a mountain of residual guilt. A reservoir in waiting to turn on yourself. So you batter yourself: I will never see him. (And all kinds of other horrible things.) These are symptoms. Symptoms have two important elements: they are expressive (in that they convey a wish) and they are punitive, against the self.</p><p></p><p>Every. single. time you think to yourself, <em>I will never see my son, </em>it Is a symptom, and a way to punish yourself, for driving him away. Which you actually did not do. You were a victim of circumstance.</p><p></p><p>And all of the fear, with the noises, those are symptoms too. Indirect ways of attacking yourself for your crimes. And what were your crimes? <em>Saving yourself and your children. </em>Big, big crimes.</p><p></p><p>I am having a difficult time now, too. Different but the same. We are on the road to contentment, to knowing our purpose and ourselves, to power in our worlds, that comes from a sense of knowing and accepting ourselves and our lives.</p><p></p><p>I say that while in the wilderness, and not knowing how and what will get me to that place of safety, that refuge. But I will say it, so that I know the importance, the vital importance of the quest. <em>The road to contentment, safety, acceptance, understanding.</em></p><p></p><p>Take this seriously, Feeling. Not just the fear and pain of it but the power too. Your power.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703902, member: 18958"] I would try to sell them on Ebay and make some money. Feeling. With respect to missing your son, and fearing you won't see him--over that you have no control, that is true. But that does not mean you have to go to the dark side. Believe you will never again in your life see him. Because that is something that you cannot know. Nobody can. I believe truly that you will. It is just that you do not know when or how. There is not only doubt, there is a complete black-out on information, control. You turn that against yourself and start beating yourself up. It becomes a symptom. Because of your guilt. And you know very clearly and well, that your lifetime has given you a mountain of residual guilt. A reservoir in waiting to turn on yourself. So you batter yourself: I will never see him. (And all kinds of other horrible things.) These are symptoms. Symptoms have two important elements: they are expressive (in that they convey a wish) and they are punitive, against the self. Every. single. time you think to yourself, [I]I will never see my son, [/I]it Is a symptom, and a way to punish yourself, for driving him away. Which you actually did not do. You were a victim of circumstance. And all of the fear, with the noises, those are symptoms too. Indirect ways of attacking yourself for your crimes. And what were your crimes? [I]Saving yourself and your children. [/I]Big, big crimes. I am having a difficult time now, too. Different but the same. We are on the road to contentment, to knowing our purpose and ourselves, to power in our worlds, that comes from a sense of knowing and accepting ourselves and our lives. I say that while in the wilderness, and not knowing how and what will get me to that place of safety, that refuge. But I will say it, so that I know the importance, the vital importance of the quest. [I]The road to contentment, safety, acceptance, understanding.[/I] Take this seriously, Feeling. Not just the fear and pain of it but the power too. Your power. [/QUOTE]
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