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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705357" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Sad, you are in a terrible situation</p><p> I actually agree with your sons values and have happily lived a simple life. But just as he is allowed his feeling, you are allowed yours and he is not allowed to destroy your property. How he did it was aggressive and violent. This is so not okay.</p><p></p><p>There is something terribly wrong with him too, and you know it. But you also know you can't make him get help or even to believe help helps. Many adult kids pick up a pot cigarette or drink and claim this cures all, yet they are still a mess. But if we suggest another option...we are rebuffed.</p><p></p><p>I think your situation with mental illness is sadder than drug abuse as it was never a choice for any of you not to live with it. And unlike other mental illnesses a person's sense of reality is impaired to the point where the person could easily and truly think his health professionals are part of a plot to kill him and that the medication is really poison. I pray your middle son is not developing this.</p><p></p><p>Have you thought of no joining a NAMI group to get real time support? I think there is help for caregivers, which is your category, I believe. This is too big to try to do all alone. It involves guilt, pain, fear, confusion, grieving...a neutral trained third party could give you a fresh, helpful point of view. Many of us still hurt, which gives you empathy and understanding but it is colored in different ways by our own pain and our own beliefs. And how we deal with our unrelenting pain or don't deal with it. </p><p></p><p>A trained third party saved my sanity and directed my thinking in surprising ways more than once. And I needed a fresh way to perceive things. Perhaps you do too, rather than recycling the painful thoughts that you deal with day after day.</p><p></p><p>I could never have gotten to a good, calm place without outside help where the person who talked to me was univolved in every way...but kind and wise. I chose psychologists and for less serious things I just saw gifted therapists, usually women.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your situation. I hope you reach out beyond this forum to heal your soul. Lots of love and light your way. Do take care. And keep posting. We do care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705357, member: 1550"] Sad, you are in a terrible situation I actually agree with your sons values and have happily lived a simple life. But just as he is allowed his feeling, you are allowed yours and he is not allowed to destroy your property. How he did it was aggressive and violent. This is so not okay. There is something terribly wrong with him too, and you know it. But you also know you can't make him get help or even to believe help helps. Many adult kids pick up a pot cigarette or drink and claim this cures all, yet they are still a mess. But if we suggest another option...we are rebuffed. I think your situation with mental illness is sadder than drug abuse as it was never a choice for any of you not to live with it. And unlike other mental illnesses a person's sense of reality is impaired to the point where the person could easily and truly think his health professionals are part of a plot to kill him and that the medication is really poison. I pray your middle son is not developing this. Have you thought of no joining a NAMI group to get real time support? I think there is help for caregivers, which is your category, I believe. This is too big to try to do all alone. It involves guilt, pain, fear, confusion, grieving...a neutral trained third party could give you a fresh, helpful point of view. Many of us still hurt, which gives you empathy and understanding but it is colored in different ways by our own pain and our own beliefs. And how we deal with our unrelenting pain or don't deal with it. A trained third party saved my sanity and directed my thinking in surprising ways more than once. And I needed a fresh way to perceive things. Perhaps you do too, rather than recycling the painful thoughts that you deal with day after day. I could never have gotten to a good, calm place without outside help where the person who talked to me was univolved in every way...but kind and wise. I chose psychologists and for less serious things I just saw gifted therapists, usually women. I am so sorry for your situation. I hope you reach out beyond this forum to heal your soul. Lots of love and light your way. Do take care. And keep posting. We do care. [/QUOTE]
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