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Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 408588"><p>Oh Bean, we have been there too. For a long long time we did tiptoe around some of the tough issues, thinking very carefully about how to approach them because of his reaction. It always worked best to stay calm and really clear.... often though things would start out that way, he would go off and it would get me going too. We have certainly let way too much stuff go in the past just to keep the peace. This was a huge problem with my husband... I was more likely to go head to head and stand up to him if needed.</p><p></p><p>The day things really came to a head we were talking to him about the rules he was breaking. We thought carefully about how to approach him (after he had used our car without permission again) and really were willing to bend over backwards to be reasonable. We were going to give him two weeks to obey the rules or move out. Well the conversation escalated to the point where he was threatening me with physical violence. I knew he wouldn't do it IF I backed down, but if I went head to head he would probably hurt me. That was it for me. Took away my guilt. I realized I could not live that way. I did not go head to head with him (for my own protection) but I walked away, pulled myself together and went to the police station for some help.</p><p></p><p>So it gets to a point where you realize you can't just let them walk all over you, make their own rules at your house and manipulate you. Your parents seem to be learning and are getting there. Hopefully when you talk to them they can get you are really serious when you tell them to leave her where she is next time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 408588"] Oh Bean, we have been there too. For a long long time we did tiptoe around some of the tough issues, thinking very carefully about how to approach them because of his reaction. It always worked best to stay calm and really clear.... often though things would start out that way, he would go off and it would get me going too. We have certainly let way too much stuff go in the past just to keep the peace. This was a huge problem with my husband... I was more likely to go head to head and stand up to him if needed. The day things really came to a head we were talking to him about the rules he was breaking. We thought carefully about how to approach him (after he had used our car without permission again) and really were willing to bend over backwards to be reasonable. We were going to give him two weeks to obey the rules or move out. Well the conversation escalated to the point where he was threatening me with physical violence. I knew he wouldn't do it IF I backed down, but if I went head to head he would probably hurt me. That was it for me. Took away my guilt. I realized I could not live that way. I did not go head to head with him (for my own protection) but I walked away, pulled myself together and went to the police station for some help. So it gets to a point where you realize you can't just let them walk all over you, make their own rules at your house and manipulate you. Your parents seem to be learning and are getting there. Hopefully when you talk to them they can get you are really serious when you tell them to leave her where she is next time. [/QUOTE]
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