Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 408619" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First of all, spitting is ASSAULT. Flat out. No wiggle room. IT. IS. ASSAULT. As she is doing drugs and satan knows what else with druggies, I would encourage your mother to get tested for STDs. Or at least to discuss it with her doctor. WHile saliva is not as likely to carry HIV, other diseases ARE present in salive and can live for DAYS outside the body.</p><p> </p><p>By giving in you are teaching her that if she is awful enough for long enough she will get what she wants. </p><p> </p><p>NOW is when you and husband sit down and make a PLAN. Who does what, when, and how when she shows up at the door, when she calls over and over and over, when she shows up at work, etc.....</p><p> </p><p>I have had to deal with this with my brother and it has taken me a LONG time to get to the point where I will call the police next time he pulls in my driveway. At this point I don't care if his child is with him or not. That is the ONLY reason I did not call the last time he just walked in my home. I had the wonderful good fortune to have an officer living in the area who drives down most of the streets as he comes and goes to our development (3 short roads). He was coming toward our home as gfgbro was leaving and it made a HUGE impression.</p><p> </p><p>See, my gfgbro had 3 felonies and finally got them expunged and does NOT NOT NOT want any more legal trouble - and I know this very well.</p><p> </p><p>You parents are getting stronger, keep giving them support. It isn't easy to do with your kids and I think it has to be even harder as a grandparent because your role is more to spoil them than to discipline them.</p><p> </p><p>Make a plan. If she shows up at an outlandish hour or will not leave, call the police. Call the non-emergemcy number and ask an officer to come out to explain your options - they will be happy to do this for you. THat way you will know what will happen, and they will have some idea of what is going on. When she is standing there it is time to use 911. If they come and she is high or drunk she WILL get at least a ticket and more likely a trip to the drunk tank. It is FAR safer to let the cops transport her than to drive her home on bad roads. You NEED your husband to be in 1 piece and not mangled in an accident because she refused to stay home and then demanded a ride.</p><p> </p><p>Tell the kids at home what to do if she shows up and they are home alone. Have the officer speak with them as well so that they know they can call and if she gets into trouble it is NOT NOT NOT their fault no matter what she says. Practice where they are to go and what they are to do when she shows up or calls or whatever.</p><p> </p><p>You may have to call the police a few times, but she will get the message. You can also take out a restraining order so that she is not allowed on your property. Won't stop her but it will up the penalty when she comes around. As this is sure to be having a huge impact on the other kids, it may be something you need to do to help protect them. It would be a lot saner than driving her around in super bad weather. She would then learn that you really won't give in - regardless of what she says/does onthe porch. </p><p> </p><p>Work situation may have to be handled via your HR dept. Hopefully it won't come to that.</p><p> </p><p>I know it is hard. I wish it was easier.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 408619, member: 1233"] First of all, spitting is ASSAULT. Flat out. No wiggle room. IT. IS. ASSAULT. As she is doing drugs and satan knows what else with druggies, I would encourage your mother to get tested for STDs. Or at least to discuss it with her doctor. WHile saliva is not as likely to carry HIV, other diseases ARE present in salive and can live for DAYS outside the body. By giving in you are teaching her that if she is awful enough for long enough she will get what she wants. NOW is when you and husband sit down and make a PLAN. Who does what, when, and how when she shows up at the door, when she calls over and over and over, when she shows up at work, etc..... I have had to deal with this with my brother and it has taken me a LONG time to get to the point where I will call the police next time he pulls in my driveway. At this point I don't care if his child is with him or not. That is the ONLY reason I did not call the last time he just walked in my home. I had the wonderful good fortune to have an officer living in the area who drives down most of the streets as he comes and goes to our development (3 short roads). He was coming toward our home as gfgbro was leaving and it made a HUGE impression. See, my gfgbro had 3 felonies and finally got them expunged and does NOT NOT NOT want any more legal trouble - and I know this very well. You parents are getting stronger, keep giving them support. It isn't easy to do with your kids and I think it has to be even harder as a grandparent because your role is more to spoil them than to discipline them. Make a plan. If she shows up at an outlandish hour or will not leave, call the police. Call the non-emergemcy number and ask an officer to come out to explain your options - they will be happy to do this for you. THat way you will know what will happen, and they will have some idea of what is going on. When she is standing there it is time to use 911. If they come and she is high or drunk she WILL get at least a ticket and more likely a trip to the drunk tank. It is FAR safer to let the cops transport her than to drive her home on bad roads. You NEED your husband to be in 1 piece and not mangled in an accident because she refused to stay home and then demanded a ride. Tell the kids at home what to do if she shows up and they are home alone. Have the officer speak with them as well so that they know they can call and if she gets into trouble it is NOT NOT NOT their fault no matter what she says. Practice where they are to go and what they are to do when she shows up or calls or whatever. You may have to call the police a few times, but she will get the message. You can also take out a restraining order so that she is not allowed on your property. Won't stop her but it will up the penalty when she comes around. As this is sure to be having a huge impact on the other kids, it may be something you need to do to help protect them. It would be a lot saner than driving her around in super bad weather. She would then learn that you really won't give in - regardless of what she says/does onthe porch. Work situation may have to be handled via your HR dept. Hopefully it won't come to that. I know it is hard. I wish it was easier. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
Top