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Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 408930" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>To the above poster. In some cases what you describe is very true. I was lucky enough that my son was never violent. Yes he was verbally abusive quite often but he would have never even thought to lift a finger to me because he knew either his father or his brothers would have killed him. I will never forget one time when he was in a group home and they told me he was trying to be a badass and act like some tough guy. I looked at them like they had lost their minds. Obviously they simply didnt know how to deal with my kid. I simply walked over to him and jacked him up against the wall and asked him if he really thought he wanted to play tough. He looked at the ground and said no. I asked him again if he wanted to hit someone. No. I said good because if he ever wanted to hit someone they could call me and he could hit me and the amazed and shocked look came across his face when he answered was "Oh no, I could never hit you, you're my Momma!" I told him point blank, well every one is someone's momma, daddy, son or daughter and you cant hit them either! Never had a bit of trouble out of him again unless he was ambushed and attacked. Cant blame him there. </p><p></p><p>Some of these kids dont grow up until their mid-twenties and that has been proven. Sometimes we have to work with what we have to try to nurture them along in some form or fashion to get them to that time frame. I am probably a pushover and a sap because my son has done some really awful things to me but I keep letting him into my life. Maybe I should have kicked him to the curb and never had anything more to do with him but he has also given me the most precious thing in my life - my oldest granddaughter. In September he will give me my fourth grandchild. I simply cannot walk away from that. I see hope. I see forward progress. Yes he slips and yes he can drive me insane at times and yes I need him to find a place to live that isnt in my home but I see a totally different person today than he was at 18 or even 20. These last 3 years have done a major difference. </p><p></p><p>If he was violent towards me it would be a totally different scene though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 408930, member: 1514"] To the above poster. In some cases what you describe is very true. I was lucky enough that my son was never violent. Yes he was verbally abusive quite often but he would have never even thought to lift a finger to me because he knew either his father or his brothers would have killed him. I will never forget one time when he was in a group home and they told me he was trying to be a badass and act like some tough guy. I looked at them like they had lost their minds. Obviously they simply didnt know how to deal with my kid. I simply walked over to him and jacked him up against the wall and asked him if he really thought he wanted to play tough. He looked at the ground and said no. I asked him again if he wanted to hit someone. No. I said good because if he ever wanted to hit someone they could call me and he could hit me and the amazed and shocked look came across his face when he answered was "Oh no, I could never hit you, you're my Momma!" I told him point blank, well every one is someone's momma, daddy, son or daughter and you cant hit them either! Never had a bit of trouble out of him again unless he was ambushed and attacked. Cant blame him there. Some of these kids dont grow up until their mid-twenties and that has been proven. Sometimes we have to work with what we have to try to nurture them along in some form or fashion to get them to that time frame. I am probably a pushover and a sap because my son has done some really awful things to me but I keep letting him into my life. Maybe I should have kicked him to the curb and never had anything more to do with him but he has also given me the most precious thing in my life - my oldest granddaughter. In September he will give me my fourth grandchild. I simply cannot walk away from that. I see hope. I see forward progress. Yes he slips and yes he can drive me insane at times and yes I need him to find a place to live that isnt in my home but I see a totally different person today than he was at 18 or even 20. These last 3 years have done a major difference. If he was violent towards me it would be a totally different scene though. [/QUOTE]
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