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Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 408992"><p>Janet - I completely agree that kicking the kid out on the curb and never looking back is not only not the right move in most cases but is emotionally impossible for just about any parent. And yes, some of these kids finally begin to grow up in their mid-20s, so in some cases it's just a waiting game. My sense, though, is that when the kid becomes violent toward family members, that places him and the situation in an entirely different category, one that's much scarier, potentially an entirely different and more troubling diagnosis, and which demands a much more decisive response. I posted that here, in this thread, because that's what this thread is about: what do we do when the difficult child is violent? My sense is that if/when he becomes violent toward family members, you've GOT to consider the other children's safety a top priority, as well as your own, and get the difficult child out of the house. I also find that the worst sort of difficult children, those that lie and steal and do drugs and are violent and refuse to accept responsibility and seem remorseless and heartless (and I regard these as budding sociopaths, for the most part), are an incredible threat to family members, given their inclinations toward towering rages and their (usually) great immaturity. My sister used to hide the butcher block and kitchen knives when I was there at the house, as we both feared that her difficult child would come after me with a knife in one of his blind rages. They're not beyond this sort of mayhem, especially when confronted and thwarted. Parental love and compassion and mercy, directed at a kid like this, is not worth dying for, or risking the death or serious injury to your other children. Violence changes everything, and needs to be regarded very, very seriously and responded to decisively. The downside of "taking a chance for the sake of a parent's love" is just too great with violent teen/young adult difficult children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 408992"] Janet - I completely agree that kicking the kid out on the curb and never looking back is not only not the right move in most cases but is emotionally impossible for just about any parent. And yes, some of these kids finally begin to grow up in their mid-20s, so in some cases it's just a waiting game. My sense, though, is that when the kid becomes violent toward family members, that places him and the situation in an entirely different category, one that's much scarier, potentially an entirely different and more troubling diagnosis, and which demands a much more decisive response. I posted that here, in this thread, because that's what this thread is about: what do we do when the difficult child is violent? My sense is that if/when he becomes violent toward family members, you've GOT to consider the other children's safety a top priority, as well as your own, and get the difficult child out of the house. I also find that the worst sort of difficult children, those that lie and steal and do drugs and are violent and refuse to accept responsibility and seem remorseless and heartless (and I regard these as budding sociopaths, for the most part), are an incredible threat to family members, given their inclinations toward towering rages and their (usually) great immaturity. My sister used to hide the butcher block and kitchen knives when I was there at the house, as we both feared that her difficult child would come after me with a knife in one of his blind rages. They're not beyond this sort of mayhem, especially when confronted and thwarted. Parental love and compassion and mercy, directed at a kid like this, is not worth dying for, or risking the death or serious injury to your other children. Violence changes everything, and needs to be regarded very, very seriously and responded to decisively. The downside of "taking a chance for the sake of a parent's love" is just too great with violent teen/young adult difficult children. [/QUOTE]
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