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feeling "stuck" again
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 629627" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Nancy, I do believe that Dr. was asking you an extremely important question, not to be taken lightly, who <strong><em><u>is </u></em></strong>supportive of you??</p><p></p><p>From my perspective, you have just been through a devastation or two or maybe even three recently and you are still standing, but perhaps without some of the usual armor which was just blown off with a few lightning bolts to your psyche and your body...........leaving you feeling your usual state, vulnerable, however, this time you can't cover it up with all that armor. I know this particular gig, it is my very own old suit of armor as well and let me tell you this Nancy, it is a KILLER.</p><p></p><p>You have to create a supportive environment around yourself and you have to do it NOW. You have WAY TOO MUCH on your plate and you have to start asking for help and start developing connections with people who will stand for you, who will listen to you, who will hold you up when you need that, who will not only allow your vulnerability but cherish it. </p><p></p><p>Asking for help is the key. For us Amazon women, it is not easy, but believe me, it is necessary for survival, a sense of safety, for feeling loved, valued, comforted and understood. Connection is of utmost importance to us human beings. And, not only the kind where we are the caregivers and the givers but where we are the receivers and the cared <em>for.</em> </p><p></p><p>Nancy, it sounds to me as if this is one of those "wakeup calls" we have when things reach critical mass and change has to happen to bring us back into balance. My guess is that you've been like this your whole life, that you really don't know a different way, but recent circumstances, recent huge blows have forced you to look at how vulnerable you really are and how, like the rest of us mere mortals, you NEED HELP.</p><p></p><p>Seeking counseling is very important. And, creating connections with others, friends, lovers, a support group of like minded souls........12 step groups, it doesn't matter where you find connection, only that you find it. Intimacy and connection are what brings us joy, it's what makes our hearts sing and when you feel seen and heard by another human, that risk of intimacy brings us deep fulfillment, comfort, a sense of belonging and.......... love. </p><p></p><p>You were out in the world as a very young person, all alone out there, and I was in a similar boat way too early as well. To survive, we develop strategies which do in fact keep us afloat. However, once we grow up those very strategies keep us stuck because they armor our vulnerable parts, our hearts, and unfortunately when we armor our hearts to pain, we also armor it to love and connection as well. </p><p></p><p>I've been on a very similar journey throughout my life and it ain't easy Nancy, but as you are seeing, it is imperative to learn a new way of being in the world so when someone asks you, "<em>who is supportive of you</em>", you can say you have a stable of characters you can name off one by one knowing each one of those characters loves you and supports you, no matter what. </p><p></p><p>You've been through so much, you take care of your adult kids and their issues, you survived a bad relationship, violence, you've gone through more then most people will in a lifetime and <em><u>now it's time to take care of YOU. </u></em></p><p><em><u></u></em></p><p>Sending you loads of empathy and understanding............I've been in those shoes............it seems it's time for change Nancy..........hang in there, stay open and ask for help.........HUGS.......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 629627, member: 13542"] Nancy, I do believe that Dr. was asking you an extremely important question, not to be taken lightly, who [B][I][U]is [/U][/I][/B]supportive of you?? From my perspective, you have just been through a devastation or two or maybe even three recently and you are still standing, but perhaps without some of the usual armor which was just blown off with a few lightning bolts to your psyche and your body...........leaving you feeling your usual state, vulnerable, however, this time you can't cover it up with all that armor. I know this particular gig, it is my very own old suit of armor as well and let me tell you this Nancy, it is a KILLER. You have to create a supportive environment around yourself and you have to do it NOW. You have WAY TOO MUCH on your plate and you have to start asking for help and start developing connections with people who will stand for you, who will listen to you, who will hold you up when you need that, who will not only allow your vulnerability but cherish it. Asking for help is the key. For us Amazon women, it is not easy, but believe me, it is necessary for survival, a sense of safety, for feeling loved, valued, comforted and understood. Connection is of utmost importance to us human beings. And, not only the kind where we are the caregivers and the givers but where we are the receivers and the cared [I]for.[/I] Nancy, it sounds to me as if this is one of those "wakeup calls" we have when things reach critical mass and change has to happen to bring us back into balance. My guess is that you've been like this your whole life, that you really don't know a different way, but recent circumstances, recent huge blows have forced you to look at how vulnerable you really are and how, like the rest of us mere mortals, you NEED HELP. Seeking counseling is very important. And, creating connections with others, friends, lovers, a support group of like minded souls........12 step groups, it doesn't matter where you find connection, only that you find it. Intimacy and connection are what brings us joy, it's what makes our hearts sing and when you feel seen and heard by another human, that risk of intimacy brings us deep fulfillment, comfort, a sense of belonging and.......... love. You were out in the world as a very young person, all alone out there, and I was in a similar boat way too early as well. To survive, we develop strategies which do in fact keep us afloat. However, once we grow up those very strategies keep us stuck because they armor our vulnerable parts, our hearts, and unfortunately when we armor our hearts to pain, we also armor it to love and connection as well. I've been on a very similar journey throughout my life and it ain't easy Nancy, but as you are seeing, it is imperative to learn a new way of being in the world so when someone asks you, "[I]who is supportive of you[/I]", you can say you have a stable of characters you can name off one by one knowing each one of those characters loves you and supports you, no matter what. You've been through so much, you take care of your adult kids and their issues, you survived a bad relationship, violence, you've gone through more then most people will in a lifetime and [I][U]now it's time to take care of YOU. [/U][/I] Sending you loads of empathy and understanding............I've been in those shoes............it seems it's time for change Nancy..........hang in there, stay open and ask for help.........HUGS....... [/QUOTE]
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