Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
feeling "stuck" again
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629641" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Helpangel, I just reread the thread again, and wanted to say how glad I am that you are seeing a counselor. You have had too much for too long.</p><p></p><p>You have gotten excellent advice and support here, and you need to develop more sources of support. What about starting to attend some meetings of a relevant support group? I have found such support and compassion in Al-Anon. Over the past four years, I have gotten to know many of the regulars there. We don't "hang out" outside the meetings much, but there are always opportunities to go for coffee, breakfast, lunch, weekend workshops, and even just make phone calls to other members when we are feeling alone or in crisis.</p><p></p><p>I will confess that I have not been too good at making the phone calls to other members but this week, when I was distraught, I forced myself to pick up the phone and call someone. Her son has basically been down the same road as mine. </p><p></p><p>We talked for 30 minutes and she was warmly compassionate, supportive and helped me cut through my fears, tears and pain to see a few truths. She reminded me of my program, and the tools, and that this too shall pass.</p><p></p><p>I think the best sources of support come from people who get what we are going through. Sometimes others, while well-intentioned, just can't or don't get it, and when we are in mortal pain, their lack of understanding and often careless comments or well-meaning advice cuts us even deeper. I am dealing with that situation with my sister right now. \</p><p></p><p>The more we can be with people who "get it", the more supported we feel. </p><p></p><p>This road we are on is unique in many ways. The agony goes on and on and we feel so powerless. We ARE powerless. Our culture says the opposite of what we have to learn to do. Our DNA says the opposite of what we have to learn to do. </p><p></p><p>And even when we do it all---recovery from enabling and start detaching and accept----and turn the focus on US, our difficult children may still not get better. And then we have to deal with others seeing that WE are better, but our difficult children aren't. They may question what we are doing. </p><p></p><p>It's hard enough without all of that. But when we isolate and detach from others we love who don't get it, we feel even more alone.</p><p></p><p>It's a vicious cycle. And a cruel one. We must seek out and cultivate support from people who are on the same road we are, so that we have a "circle of wagons" around us when things are just too hard to bear.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs for you today, Help. We are here for you. We understand. Please work to cultivate more people who will already understand---and you won't have to teach them or convince them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629641, member: 17542"] Helpangel, I just reread the thread again, and wanted to say how glad I am that you are seeing a counselor. You have had too much for too long. You have gotten excellent advice and support here, and you need to develop more sources of support. What about starting to attend some meetings of a relevant support group? I have found such support and compassion in Al-Anon. Over the past four years, I have gotten to know many of the regulars there. We don't "hang out" outside the meetings much, but there are always opportunities to go for coffee, breakfast, lunch, weekend workshops, and even just make phone calls to other members when we are feeling alone or in crisis. I will confess that I have not been too good at making the phone calls to other members but this week, when I was distraught, I forced myself to pick up the phone and call someone. Her son has basically been down the same road as mine. We talked for 30 minutes and she was warmly compassionate, supportive and helped me cut through my fears, tears and pain to see a few truths. She reminded me of my program, and the tools, and that this too shall pass. I think the best sources of support come from people who get what we are going through. Sometimes others, while well-intentioned, just can't or don't get it, and when we are in mortal pain, their lack of understanding and often careless comments or well-meaning advice cuts us even deeper. I am dealing with that situation with my sister right now. \ The more we can be with people who "get it", the more supported we feel. This road we are on is unique in many ways. The agony goes on and on and we feel so powerless. We ARE powerless. Our culture says the opposite of what we have to learn to do. Our DNA says the opposite of what we have to learn to do. And even when we do it all---recovery from enabling and start detaching and accept----and turn the focus on US, our difficult children may still not get better. And then we have to deal with others seeing that WE are better, but our difficult children aren't. They may question what we are doing. It's hard enough without all of that. But when we isolate and detach from others we love who don't get it, we feel even more alone. It's a vicious cycle. And a cruel one. We must seek out and cultivate support from people who are on the same road we are, so that we have a "circle of wagons" around us when things are just too hard to bear. Warm hugs for you today, Help. We are here for you. We understand. Please work to cultivate more people who will already understand---and you won't have to teach them or convince them. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
feeling "stuck" again
Top