Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 533137" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Did you give her a consequence for staying out all night when you spoke to her and said no drugs, no staying out all night? If so, then you have to follow through. </p><p></p><p>She CLEARLY has no intention of complying iwth your rules. NONE. The hwole 'I had too much to drink to get home by curfew" means she has no intention of coming home or she would stop drinking at least 2 hrs before she has to leave (1 hr per measured drink to metabolize, 2 drinks means you need 2 hrs) to get home. That was premeditated, as was the one where seh took work clothes.</p><p></p><p>Is she working full time? If not, she needs another job because she has too much free time and not enough work to pay for her own place. Given you spoke and she KNEW the rule was no overnights, it is NOT your responsibility to arrange for how she complies. It is NOT your problem to make sure she has a designated driver to bring her home. ANYONE who drinks even ONE drink has the responsibility to have a designated driver. period. No excuses or exceptions. I cannot tell you how many parties I attended in hs and college where everyone but me drank. When it was my turn to be the driver I was the driver. PERIOD. When I was drinking, I kept an eye on my driver and if he/she drank, I stopped immediately because it was MY JOB to be sure I had a desg driver. PERIOD.</p><p></p><p>You spoke, she agreed to no overnights. She has had overnights due her HER CHOICES and now? in my opinion the consequences should be to leave. Or else to pay double rent and the next overnight for any reason is the night she moves out. getting arrested for a DUI because she was too stupid to have a desig driver or stay sober is an overnight and NOT an exception.</p><p></p><p>I am 100% serious in that it is NOT YOUR JOB to figure out how she gets home in time for curfew. It never was, it never will be. Rules are not there for the world to make her life easier. A job will not CARE if she does not have a ride to work - they just expect her there and ready to work. Curfew is a JOB she had to do to be able to live with you, as are NO OVERNIGHTS. </p><p></p><p>clearly J has room in his apt for her to spend the night. I guess she can live there, but he will want more rent. She wants the freedom of her own place with none of the responsibilites of bills, etc...... Not your job to meet unrealistic expectations. </p><p></p><p>What do YOU think the consequences should be? Why did you feel you had to either let her stay out or drive drunk? Why would either of those be things that you were responsible for? both are NOT your choices or responsibilities. The fact that TWICE in a row she was too drunk to drive home, and there was no desig driver means she has a problem. she either must become responsible or stop drinking. Responsible drinkers know they need desig drivers to get them where they need to go on time or they need to not drink. If she cannot do these, there is a real problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 533137, member: 1233"] Did you give her a consequence for staying out all night when you spoke to her and said no drugs, no staying out all night? If so, then you have to follow through. She CLEARLY has no intention of complying iwth your rules. NONE. The hwole 'I had too much to drink to get home by curfew" means she has no intention of coming home or she would stop drinking at least 2 hrs before she has to leave (1 hr per measured drink to metabolize, 2 drinks means you need 2 hrs) to get home. That was premeditated, as was the one where seh took work clothes. Is she working full time? If not, she needs another job because she has too much free time and not enough work to pay for her own place. Given you spoke and she KNEW the rule was no overnights, it is NOT your responsibility to arrange for how she complies. It is NOT your problem to make sure she has a designated driver to bring her home. ANYONE who drinks even ONE drink has the responsibility to have a designated driver. period. No excuses or exceptions. I cannot tell you how many parties I attended in hs and college where everyone but me drank. When it was my turn to be the driver I was the driver. PERIOD. When I was drinking, I kept an eye on my driver and if he/she drank, I stopped immediately because it was MY JOB to be sure I had a desg driver. PERIOD. You spoke, she agreed to no overnights. She has had overnights due her HER CHOICES and now? in my opinion the consequences should be to leave. Or else to pay double rent and the next overnight for any reason is the night she moves out. getting arrested for a DUI because she was too stupid to have a desig driver or stay sober is an overnight and NOT an exception. I am 100% serious in that it is NOT YOUR JOB to figure out how she gets home in time for curfew. It never was, it never will be. Rules are not there for the world to make her life easier. A job will not CARE if she does not have a ride to work - they just expect her there and ready to work. Curfew is a JOB she had to do to be able to live with you, as are NO OVERNIGHTS. clearly J has room in his apt for her to spend the night. I guess she can live there, but he will want more rent. She wants the freedom of her own place with none of the responsibilites of bills, etc...... Not your job to meet unrealistic expectations. What do YOU think the consequences should be? Why did you feel you had to either let her stay out or drive drunk? Why would either of those be things that you were responsible for? both are NOT your choices or responsibilities. The fact that TWICE in a row she was too drunk to drive home, and there was no desig driver means she has a problem. she either must become responsible or stop drinking. Responsible drinkers know they need desig drivers to get them where they need to go on time or they need to not drink. If she cannot do these, there is a real problem. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
Top