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Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 533230" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>My curfew stand is for a couple of reasons. clearly her difficult child is living at home because she cannot afford to finance her own life. this means that she needs to be saving money and to find more work so she can move out. going out for whatever reason late at night is an invite for trouble. NOT something dash can control BUT being home at night means that her daughter is more likely to be able to go fnd another job during the day. </p><p></p><p>there was a GOAL for moving in - to get back on her feet and get her own place. going out each night is expensive and will only drain those funds dry, resulting in dash having to be support her longer and very likely having to deal with her other problems that stem from her night time activities. </p><p></p><p>there is also the safety factor. her daughter could easily sneak strange people into the house late at night, bringing them home from a party. dashcat is already uncomfortable having one in the home when seh is sleeping. how much worse will it be when it is someone that dashcat doesn't know? How will she feel safe in her own home.</p><p></p><p>the third thing is that this is not difficult child's house and these are the rules dash wants, for her own reasons. Clearly dash feels it is a problem to not be home by a certain tme, and that means it IS a problem. How many of are difficult children are ready at a set age for what 'everyone else' does? if difficult child was READY to handle her life like an adult, she would have gotten a 2nd job and even a 3rd one to pay her bills and have her own home. she would be ready to handle all the adult responsibilties. </p><p></p><p>that isn't the case. while nothing dashcat does will alter difficult child's sex life, dashcat does know how vulnerable her child is and is worried, and since she is supporting her child, she has a say. period. </p><p></p><p>Plus, the rules at home are not supposed to be the same rules as with a friend - how on EARTH would anyone get their adult kids to move out?? the whole issue from the movie "Failure to launch' would not have happened (and it does all over the country) f people didn't make it so easy on their adult kids to live at home and do what they want and have parents taking care of them. </p><p></p><p>dashcat, what are the consequences for breaking the rules?? figure this out ASAP and put it in writing. then give difficult child a copy of the rules and consequences and get her to sign it, incl consequences for things you would make her leave over. this takes a lot of the guesswork and debate out of the equation in the heat of the moment. i am proud of you for seeing that she needed some consequences and trying to work out what will be best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 533230, member: 1233"] My curfew stand is for a couple of reasons. clearly her difficult child is living at home because she cannot afford to finance her own life. this means that she needs to be saving money and to find more work so she can move out. going out for whatever reason late at night is an invite for trouble. NOT something dash can control BUT being home at night means that her daughter is more likely to be able to go fnd another job during the day. there was a GOAL for moving in - to get back on her feet and get her own place. going out each night is expensive and will only drain those funds dry, resulting in dash having to be support her longer and very likely having to deal with her other problems that stem from her night time activities. there is also the safety factor. her daughter could easily sneak strange people into the house late at night, bringing them home from a party. dashcat is already uncomfortable having one in the home when seh is sleeping. how much worse will it be when it is someone that dashcat doesn't know? How will she feel safe in her own home. the third thing is that this is not difficult child's house and these are the rules dash wants, for her own reasons. Clearly dash feels it is a problem to not be home by a certain tme, and that means it IS a problem. How many of are difficult children are ready at a set age for what 'everyone else' does? if difficult child was READY to handle her life like an adult, she would have gotten a 2nd job and even a 3rd one to pay her bills and have her own home. she would be ready to handle all the adult responsibilties. that isn't the case. while nothing dashcat does will alter difficult child's sex life, dashcat does know how vulnerable her child is and is worried, and since she is supporting her child, she has a say. period. Plus, the rules at home are not supposed to be the same rules as with a friend - how on EARTH would anyone get their adult kids to move out?? the whole issue from the movie "Failure to launch' would not have happened (and it does all over the country) f people didn't make it so easy on their adult kids to live at home and do what they want and have parents taking care of them. dashcat, what are the consequences for breaking the rules?? figure this out ASAP and put it in writing. then give difficult child a copy of the rules and consequences and get her to sign it, incl consequences for things you would make her leave over. this takes a lot of the guesswork and debate out of the equation in the heat of the moment. i am proud of you for seeing that she needed some consequences and trying to work out what will be best. [/QUOTE]
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Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
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