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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 66811" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>My difficult child 1 has been attending a school for kids who are behavioral. As you can imagine, he was learning language that would curl your hair. When the school advised that he was using said language, I made sure that he knew he'd be "toast" if he used it in the house. That being said, he's 8 yours is 16.</p><p></p><p>What seems to hit home with these kids is that you acknowledge their intelligence. So when confronted with this with some of the older kids, I asked them point blank if they wanted to be respected OR did they want to appear stupid.</p><p></p><p>They were shocked! Of course we want respect and we certainly don't want to be thought of as stupid.</p><p></p><p>Well, only people who are stupid can't think of better words to say so they use foul language. If you want people to think of you as worth while AND intelligent, you won't talk like that. I offered to quietly remind them with a look if they slipped, but they needed to make a real effort to clean it up.</p><p></p><p>It was totally conversational. No accusations, no name calling, just calm conversation with an offer of help. You could also point out that soon she's going to want to start looking for a part-time job, etc., and swearing is a really hard habit to break. Too much of it could result in her losing a job that she may really like!</p><p></p><p>The key is to be on her side, not "against" her like all of us mom's are being accused of!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Hope it helps!</p><p></p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 66811, member: 3814"] My difficult child 1 has been attending a school for kids who are behavioral. As you can imagine, he was learning language that would curl your hair. When the school advised that he was using said language, I made sure that he knew he'd be "toast" if he used it in the house. That being said, he's 8 yours is 16. What seems to hit home with these kids is that you acknowledge their intelligence. So when confronted with this with some of the older kids, I asked them point blank if they wanted to be respected OR did they want to appear stupid. They were shocked! Of course we want respect and we certainly don't want to be thought of as stupid. Well, only people who are stupid can't think of better words to say so they use foul language. If you want people to think of you as worth while AND intelligent, you won't talk like that. I offered to quietly remind them with a look if they slipped, but they needed to make a real effort to clean it up. It was totally conversational. No accusations, no name calling, just calm conversation with an offer of help. You could also point out that soon she's going to want to start looking for a part-time job, etc., and swearing is a really hard habit to break. Too much of it could result in her losing a job that she may really like! The key is to be on her side, not "against" her like all of us mom's are being accused of!!! :-) Hope it helps! Beth [/QUOTE]
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