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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 543093" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>I'm sorry it took me so long to reply! Things have been nuts and I haven't been on the computer much. If it's not one thing it's another! I need a VACATION! Thank you all so much for your replies. I appreciate it more than you know.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, it's been very difficult lately. I'm having a lot of sadness and guilt but like some of you said, it takes time to adjust. It's nice knowing that he HAS to take some responsibility for his own life now that he's 18 but that does come with mixed feelings. </p><p></p><p>He's having some problems in his current placement. He's not getting along with one of the other young men in the group home. Last night difficult child called me to tell me he hates it there and that he's coming home. He said he's tired of being in a group home and he can't take it anymore since he's been in one on and off (mostly on) since he was 12. He was crying and begging and it broke my heart but I was firm. I had to say "NO" once again. He asked why and said he's changed and I had to gently remind him that no he hasn't changed because he's still stealing and still lying and that's not acceptable in our home and never will be. He said please and that he has no where else to go. I said I'm sorry but no. He proceeded to freak out at that point and scream at me saying how much he hates me and he hopes I die. I hung up in the middle of his rage.</p><p></p><p>It's definitely sad that he's been in a group home for so long and it breaks my heart that he didn't have a "normal" childhood. He's had so many chances at home and he's blown them each time. Each time he's been home he's continued to steal, lie, threaten, and last year at this time it escalated to the point of him going into daily rages with him breaking things and threatening to kill me. We can't allow that to happen ever again.</p><p></p><p>The program he's in now is a transitional program for young men ages 18 - 24. He's been there since the end of May. They will help him with life skills and help him find a job. He liked it at first but he was just honeymooning. Once the honeymoon phase ends difficult child usually crashes very hard. I can hear it in his voice. He's desperate and that scares me. At this point, I'm trying to keep out of it and let him figure out what to do but it's hard. He knows what to say to hurt me. He likes me fine when he thinks he's getting something from me (such as the brand new laptop he just got, etc) but after that's over it's back to hating me and blaming me. Anyway, I think I'm going to just give him his space and let him figure things out on his own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 543093, member: 12470"] I'm sorry it took me so long to reply! Things have been nuts and I haven't been on the computer much. If it's not one thing it's another! I need a VACATION! Thank you all so much for your replies. I appreciate it more than you know. Anyway, it's been very difficult lately. I'm having a lot of sadness and guilt but like some of you said, it takes time to adjust. It's nice knowing that he HAS to take some responsibility for his own life now that he's 18 but that does come with mixed feelings. He's having some problems in his current placement. He's not getting along with one of the other young men in the group home. Last night difficult child called me to tell me he hates it there and that he's coming home. He said he's tired of being in a group home and he can't take it anymore since he's been in one on and off (mostly on) since he was 12. He was crying and begging and it broke my heart but I was firm. I had to say "NO" once again. He asked why and said he's changed and I had to gently remind him that no he hasn't changed because he's still stealing and still lying and that's not acceptable in our home and never will be. He said please and that he has no where else to go. I said I'm sorry but no. He proceeded to freak out at that point and scream at me saying how much he hates me and he hopes I die. I hung up in the middle of his rage. It's definitely sad that he's been in a group home for so long and it breaks my heart that he didn't have a "normal" childhood. He's had so many chances at home and he's blown them each time. Each time he's been home he's continued to steal, lie, threaten, and last year at this time it escalated to the point of him going into daily rages with him breaking things and threatening to kill me. We can't allow that to happen ever again. The program he's in now is a transitional program for young men ages 18 - 24. He's been there since the end of May. They will help him with life skills and help him find a job. He liked it at first but he was just honeymooning. Once the honeymoon phase ends difficult child usually crashes very hard. I can hear it in his voice. He's desperate and that scares me. At this point, I'm trying to keep out of it and let him figure out what to do but it's hard. He knows what to say to hurt me. He likes me fine when he thinks he's getting something from me (such as the brand new laptop he just got, etc) but after that's over it's back to hating me and blaming me. Anyway, I think I'm going to just give him his space and let him figure things out on his own. [/QUOTE]
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