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FINALLY! I have decided
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 455513" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Are you already getting the letters she is sending to him? Is he allowed to call her from Department of Juvenile Justice with-o your approval? If you are already getting the letters sent to you to be sent to him, I would not say anything at all to her. Unless he is getting the letters from her or is calling her, then I advise just not telling her anything about the letters.</p><p></p><p>I see a lot of my mom in your mom. Sending ANY letter saying you will keep her letters from difficult child will just fire her up because she honestly believves you have no right to set boundaries for your life or for difficult child's life. I do think the letter is well written and if a letter must be sent it is a good one. But ANY letter you send will be waving a big red flag in front of a bull. She may just start stirring up koi, calling the PO, even calling CPS because you are not allowing him to have a relationship with her. NOT that seh wants one, her behavior over his lifetime has proven she doesn't. What will light her fire is that you are saying that she can't do something. Like a difficult child, even if it is something they do not want to do they will have an absolute fit is you tell them tehy can't do it. </p><p></p><p>I would screen calls and not answer hers for a while, just put the letters aside when they come, and do what you can to make sure she can't call or visit difficult child in Department of Juvenile Justice. The only reason I could see that she would go to Department of Juvenile Justice to visit would be to tell difficult child how awful you are and to complain to staff people there about you to try to stir up trouble for you with the staff and PO.</p><p></p><p>It is a great letter though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 455513, member: 1233"] Are you already getting the letters she is sending to him? Is he allowed to call her from Department of Juvenile Justice with-o your approval? If you are already getting the letters sent to you to be sent to him, I would not say anything at all to her. Unless he is getting the letters from her or is calling her, then I advise just not telling her anything about the letters. I see a lot of my mom in your mom. Sending ANY letter saying you will keep her letters from difficult child will just fire her up because she honestly believves you have no right to set boundaries for your life or for difficult child's life. I do think the letter is well written and if a letter must be sent it is a good one. But ANY letter you send will be waving a big red flag in front of a bull. She may just start stirring up koi, calling the PO, even calling CPS because you are not allowing him to have a relationship with her. NOT that seh wants one, her behavior over his lifetime has proven she doesn't. What will light her fire is that you are saying that she can't do something. Like a difficult child, even if it is something they do not want to do they will have an absolute fit is you tell them tehy can't do it. I would screen calls and not answer hers for a while, just put the letters aside when they come, and do what you can to make sure she can't call or visit difficult child in Department of Juvenile Justice. The only reason I could see that she would go to Department of Juvenile Justice to visit would be to tell difficult child how awful you are and to complain to staff people there about you to try to stir up trouble for you with the staff and PO. It is a great letter though. [/QUOTE]
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