First good week we had in months!

[daralex]

I have been homeschooling my difficult child since October. There seemed to be a fit thrown everyday or at the least she would moan, whine, and complain to the point I wanted to squeeze her little head off her body ("little" being the operative word, she's 13 and stands at 5'11"!) After reading many of the posts here and doing a little research I think I am finally getting it.

I was always just waiting for her to be difficult during the day - it became an expectation. I went into each day just waiting for the conflict, so that by the time it actually happened I was all ready for battle. I am now approaching the situation differently. I am clinging on to my sense of humor and taking each moment at a time. It seems as though me being calm has helped her be calmer too. I still insist she does what needs to be done, but approaching it in a lighter manner. When I see she's had enough or is on the brink of losing it, we pull back and do something else for a few minutes until she can get it together.

I have to say this is the first good week we have had since october! Yes, there was an occasional whine - but it was short lived and much less painful. I hope I have the strength to keep it up. I know I am still expecting something to go horribly wrong at some point, but this week gives me hope that I can have a better handle on her behavior - and that so can she.

We are developing a behavior contract this weekend (she will have input to this as well). My brother is a shrink and tells me that this will help greatly not only with her understanding of what limits are, but also a way for me to stay consistent when it comes to expectations and discipline.

I'm sure I will be a puddle in the corner at some point soon, but I am really trying to embrace the calmness we have had in the house this week. It gives me a little hope!!
-Dara

 

[tammyjh]

:bravo: on the good week!! Isn't it amazing how the atmosphere in the whole house changes when the difficult child's have a good week...heck, even a good day? Congratulations and I hope it continues. We're in the middle of a good phase too...its been 3 weeks with no major meltdowns or physical aggression to anyone :smile: Thats a record.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Dara,

First :bravo: on the great week!

You know, they say to relax and enjoy your newborn because if you are nervous and worried your baby can feel your stress. It only serves to reason that our kids sense our emotions through our body language.

Keeping your sense of humor and expecting the best is a positive move. I really think that children will often suprise us when we carry higher expectations. When we lower what we expect out of our children, we are never disappointed!

I hope it keeps up for the two of you.

Sharon

 

[navineja]

Congratulations! Isn't it amazing how even a brief respite from the disruptive behaviors is enough for us to recharge and improve our dispostions? (Even when we are pretty sure that is is only going to be brief!) I look at it as a vacation and enjoy it while it lasts. :beach: Hope that it lasts for a good long time for you two.

 

[Wiped Out]

:bravo:Youare doing a great job!

 

[daralex]

Thabnk you all for the support - don't know what i would do without you!!!!!!!