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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 210555" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Ontheverge. Welcome.</p><p>Just from what you've written, Attachment disorder sounds like a good diagnosis, considering her past. Of the few people I know who have been successful with-that, they basically withstood every awful thing their kids did, while constantly reminding them how much they love them. At some point, the "Aha!" lightbulb went off and there was a catharsis. I learned a lot about it when I subscribed to Roots and Wings Magazine. I don't know if it's still being published.</p><p> </p><p>You need to grow rhino skin. Learn detachment. It takes a lot of practice.</p><p> </p><p>I have no idea how to get a kid to talk, but what your psychiatric said was rude and unprofessional. I'd find another one who is willing to sit there and draw pictures or listen to music or whatever it takes until the kid opens up. We've had sessions where our son just sits there. Sometimes he'll talk when the therapist is nice, and sometimes the therapist has to read him the riot act. But the therapist has to get to know the child first b4 doing that or it will backfire.</p><p> </p><p>Our sessions work best when we have an agenda. We often bring up 1 or 2 things that have happened recently, tell the therapist about it in front of our difficult child, and then the therapist asks difficult child to give his side of the story. It's almost like baiting, and who could resist that? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Do you think there was any drug abuse by the bmom that could be causing biological or neurological problems? Have you had that kids assessed by anyone other than a pediatrician or psychologist?</p><p> </p><p>In reg to you being the trigger, join the club. It is very common for the moms to be the trigger because we are there with-the kids the most.</p><p>Have you ever read <strong>The Explosive Child</strong> by Ross Greene? If not, I highly recommend it. I have been the trigger far less often since reading it. I also had my husband spend more time with-our difficult child so eventually my husband became a trigger, as well. It's whomever the child spends the most time with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 210555, member: 3419"] Hi Ontheverge. Welcome. Just from what you've written, Attachment disorder sounds like a good diagnosis, considering her past. Of the few people I know who have been successful with-that, they basically withstood every awful thing their kids did, while constantly reminding them how much they love them. At some point, the "Aha!" lightbulb went off and there was a catharsis. I learned a lot about it when I subscribed to Roots and Wings Magazine. I don't know if it's still being published. You need to grow rhino skin. Learn detachment. It takes a lot of practice. I have no idea how to get a kid to talk, but what your psychiatric said was rude and unprofessional. I'd find another one who is willing to sit there and draw pictures or listen to music or whatever it takes until the kid opens up. We've had sessions where our son just sits there. Sometimes he'll talk when the therapist is nice, and sometimes the therapist has to read him the riot act. But the therapist has to get to know the child first b4 doing that or it will backfire. Our sessions work best when we have an agenda. We often bring up 1 or 2 things that have happened recently, tell the therapist about it in front of our difficult child, and then the therapist asks difficult child to give his side of the story. It's almost like baiting, and who could resist that? :) Do you think there was any drug abuse by the bmom that could be causing biological or neurological problems? Have you had that kids assessed by anyone other than a pediatrician or psychologist? In reg to you being the trigger, join the club. It is very common for the moms to be the trigger because we are there with-the kids the most. Have you ever read [B]The Explosive Child[/B] by Ross Greene? If not, I highly recommend it. I have been the trigger far less often since reading it. I also had my husband spend more time with-our difficult child so eventually my husband became a trigger, as well. It's whomever the child spends the most time with. [/QUOTE]
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