First I want to thank this forum for being here. I have read through some of the stories and it has helped a bit. I had to kick my son out three weeks ago and I cannot get through a day with him NOT constantly on my thoughts, I am just sick at my stomach. I have a mother, 92, with Alzheimer, that lives with my husband and I, and it is just about more than I can bare.
My son just turned 28. My husband has always said he is about 5-8 years behind in maturity of other males his age. He had all kinds of trouble in high school academically so he quit. It was only about 2 years ago that he finally got his GED. He has worked odd and end jobs since he was 16 but never stuck with anything more than a few months, always found an excuse of how he was being treated or some bull. Last year I got him a little job doing what I was doing and he only had to work 3-4 days a week about 7 hours a day...At this job he met this little girl that told him about how she was going to go to Medical Assistance Tech school...so my son wanted to go and I was just joyed to the hill. We told him he could live with us until a couple of months AFTER he got his certification which would be enough time for him to find a job. We helped him get enrolled in school thinking that if we could just get through this one year with him....BUT he sealed his fate with me when he came home drunk in the car we were going to give him when he finished school with the front tire busted out (he drove it home on the rim) and the front fender hanging down - he had ONE MONTH left on his books and THREE months left on his externship for the school, and was 3 days away from his 28th birthday when I kicked him out...
History here: Just total disrespect, belligerent, hateful, slob, has a great sense of entitlement.. He does not do drugs because if he does it will set off a panic attack of the tenth degree..so he prefers to drink. He takes things from our bedroom and bathroom without permission, I noticed money missing from my purse, he has even taken my mother's debit card and charged liquor on it.
When we found out he was going to go to school and that he would also be working we decided we were going to have to do something about a car..we took our income tax money, found me a little car to drive and gave him the newer one that was not yet paid for yet (because we felt it was safer) and told him it would be his if he respected it he could have it in his name once he finished school and got a job and moved out...
He gets up in the morning, sits on the computer, listens to music until about an hour before he had to leave to go to school, he would throw his clothes in the dryer (to get the wrinkles out of them because nothing ever got hung up). Although he was supposed to come straight home from school, he would stop by his low life friends and drink after school till early in the morning..he would come home and go to the kitchen, make noise, wake my mother up. There was a time when he came home and he put a roll in the toaster oven, went to bed and fell asleep. My husband and I woke up around 2 in the morning with the house filled with smoke. His bedroom and bathroom are such a disaster you cannot even open the door to them..so many times I open the door and he has just let the water in the sink run..Before he quit working with this last job, he would get his check, spend it all on clothes and booze, then expect me to give him money for gas for him to get back and forth to school..it was just a nightmare..I could just go on and on about things like this..BUT
He is also a very sweet kid..he has a heart as big as Texas. He was raised with respect and he has seen how his dad and I work hard to have what we have. We love him dearly and we want nothing more than for him to be happy...We keep things in order around here. That is why I cannot understand why he is like he is..
I know this is long but I have no one to talk to..my husband just keeps his feelings to himself and I cry off and on all day..the last time I seen him he was walking down the street with a suitcase in his hand..I know that he and a friend lived on the street in a field for about a week..he finally got ahold of another friend and I think he is staying with them, I'm not sure.
I guess I just want to know if there is anything I can do to just get on with my life..I feel so horrible and I worry about him till I am just sick. Before he left I did give him the names and numbers to two missions downtown that he could go to for help..they would help him get a job, supply him with maybe some help on his drinking, a place to sleep and 3 meals a day..they would even help him with his education. BUT, guess he didn't want that. I just don't know anymore...I just don't know ! But thanks for letting me rant...I just am sick is all.
My son just turned 28. My husband has always said he is about 5-8 years behind in maturity of other males his age. He had all kinds of trouble in high school academically so he quit. It was only about 2 years ago that he finally got his GED. He has worked odd and end jobs since he was 16 but never stuck with anything more than a few months, always found an excuse of how he was being treated or some bull. Last year I got him a little job doing what I was doing and he only had to work 3-4 days a week about 7 hours a day...At this job he met this little girl that told him about how she was going to go to Medical Assistance Tech school...so my son wanted to go and I was just joyed to the hill. We told him he could live with us until a couple of months AFTER he got his certification which would be enough time for him to find a job. We helped him get enrolled in school thinking that if we could just get through this one year with him....BUT he sealed his fate with me when he came home drunk in the car we were going to give him when he finished school with the front tire busted out (he drove it home on the rim) and the front fender hanging down - he had ONE MONTH left on his books and THREE months left on his externship for the school, and was 3 days away from his 28th birthday when I kicked him out...
History here: Just total disrespect, belligerent, hateful, slob, has a great sense of entitlement.. He does not do drugs because if he does it will set off a panic attack of the tenth degree..so he prefers to drink. He takes things from our bedroom and bathroom without permission, I noticed money missing from my purse, he has even taken my mother's debit card and charged liquor on it.
When we found out he was going to go to school and that he would also be working we decided we were going to have to do something about a car..we took our income tax money, found me a little car to drive and gave him the newer one that was not yet paid for yet (because we felt it was safer) and told him it would be his if he respected it he could have it in his name once he finished school and got a job and moved out...
He gets up in the morning, sits on the computer, listens to music until about an hour before he had to leave to go to school, he would throw his clothes in the dryer (to get the wrinkles out of them because nothing ever got hung up). Although he was supposed to come straight home from school, he would stop by his low life friends and drink after school till early in the morning..he would come home and go to the kitchen, make noise, wake my mother up. There was a time when he came home and he put a roll in the toaster oven, went to bed and fell asleep. My husband and I woke up around 2 in the morning with the house filled with smoke. His bedroom and bathroom are such a disaster you cannot even open the door to them..so many times I open the door and he has just let the water in the sink run..Before he quit working with this last job, he would get his check, spend it all on clothes and booze, then expect me to give him money for gas for him to get back and forth to school..it was just a nightmare..I could just go on and on about things like this..BUT
He is also a very sweet kid..he has a heart as big as Texas. He was raised with respect and he has seen how his dad and I work hard to have what we have. We love him dearly and we want nothing more than for him to be happy...We keep things in order around here. That is why I cannot understand why he is like he is..
I know this is long but I have no one to talk to..my husband just keeps his feelings to himself and I cry off and on all day..the last time I seen him he was walking down the street with a suitcase in his hand..I know that he and a friend lived on the street in a field for about a week..he finally got ahold of another friend and I think he is staying with them, I'm not sure.
I guess I just want to know if there is anything I can do to just get on with my life..I feel so horrible and I worry about him till I am just sick. Before he left I did give him the names and numbers to two missions downtown that he could go to for help..they would help him get a job, supply him with maybe some help on his drinking, a place to sleep and 3 meals a day..they would even help him with his education. BUT, guess he didn't want that. I just don't know anymore...I just don't know ! But thanks for letting me rant...I just am sick is all.