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First time posting, new to this, arrrgh
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 35241" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. We have no experience with Metadate, but I can tell you about being judged by others, simply because you or your kids are a bit different. Now it's weird again - difficult child 3 has become a walking encyclopedia and thesaurus, but without the pronunciation guide - he often mispronounces words because he's learnt them by reading them, not hearing them. In general he makes people smile because he is so carefully formal.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 walks around the mall, on the other hand, with his expressionless Aspie face looking almost like a scowl. With his long black coat, his HUGE boots with metal plats all the way up the shins and buckles everywhere, we have friends who say they're scared to approach him because he looks so confronting. He now helps girlfriend teach Sunday School and it did take some time for the little kids to realise that you can't judge a book by its cover.</p><p></p><p>People have judged our kids for years, since they were tiny. People were critical of difficult child 1's hyperactivity and extreme neediness, telling us to not coddle him so much. One bloke at church got angry with him simply because he (difficult child 1) was being a bit noisy, outside, after church and was the older bloke was about to spank him when a good friend of mine intervened. The old bloke was a control freak with no sons, only daughters who have been brought up to recognise Daddy as the ultimate authority. Instead, in our house, parenting is a partnership with mutual respect.</p><p></p><p>Your child has a mixed bag of diagnoses and you say they've ruled out Asperger's. Just a caution for you - they ruled out Asperger's in difficult child 1, when he was 6. Instead he was given an ADHD diagnosis which never quite explained everything. So keep an open mind. Frankly, the diagnosis is there mainly to help you access services such as IEP in school, other official things. But for day to day management and therapy - you are guided by what your child is going through, and what you feel needs attention. The label here is far less important. For example, difficult child 3 has a diagnosis of autism, but his main presenting problem at the moment is anxiety. In the past, other problems have been more urgent (such as his late language development) and with the anxiety increasingly controlled, we're now looking more at his problems with coordination and fine motor control. And the whole time - we're working to keep that amazing brain of his stimulated and working productively. He has a target career choice and we're constantly working towards it.</p><p></p><p>Welcome and good luck. Keep us posted on how you go.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 35241, member: 1991"] Welcome. We have no experience with Metadate, but I can tell you about being judged by others, simply because you or your kids are a bit different. Now it's weird again - difficult child 3 has become a walking encyclopedia and thesaurus, but without the pronunciation guide - he often mispronounces words because he's learnt them by reading them, not hearing them. In general he makes people smile because he is so carefully formal. difficult child 1 walks around the mall, on the other hand, with his expressionless Aspie face looking almost like a scowl. With his long black coat, his HUGE boots with metal plats all the way up the shins and buckles everywhere, we have friends who say they're scared to approach him because he looks so confronting. He now helps girlfriend teach Sunday School and it did take some time for the little kids to realise that you can't judge a book by its cover. People have judged our kids for years, since they were tiny. People were critical of difficult child 1's hyperactivity and extreme neediness, telling us to not coddle him so much. One bloke at church got angry with him simply because he (difficult child 1) was being a bit noisy, outside, after church and was the older bloke was about to spank him when a good friend of mine intervened. The old bloke was a control freak with no sons, only daughters who have been brought up to recognise Daddy as the ultimate authority. Instead, in our house, parenting is a partnership with mutual respect. Your child has a mixed bag of diagnoses and you say they've ruled out Asperger's. Just a caution for you - they ruled out Asperger's in difficult child 1, when he was 6. Instead he was given an ADHD diagnosis which never quite explained everything. So keep an open mind. Frankly, the diagnosis is there mainly to help you access services such as IEP in school, other official things. But for day to day management and therapy - you are guided by what your child is going through, and what you feel needs attention. The label here is far less important. For example, difficult child 3 has a diagnosis of autism, but his main presenting problem at the moment is anxiety. In the past, other problems have been more urgent (such as his late language development) and with the anxiety increasingly controlled, we're now looking more at his problems with coordination and fine motor control. And the whole time - we're working to keep that amazing brain of his stimulated and working productively. He has a target career choice and we're constantly working towards it. Welcome and good luck. Keep us posted on how you go. Marg [/QUOTE]
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