As someone who is pretty comfortable with her daughter's diagnosis I agree with the other's, although, all 3 of K's psychiatrist's feel she is BiPolar (BP), they will not give her that diagnosis due to the wording of the DSM-IV... it is set up to accomodate most adult BiPolar (BP).
I also agree that a LONG INTENSIVE Nuero-psychiatric evaluation is proper. Our's was 10 hours, I think 6 visits. That does not include all of the paperwork I sent and the hours of paperwork he had me fill out at home, prior to us meeting.
He did not diagnosis K, he suggested and gave his opinion, and then referred us back to our pediatrician to talk over the final report and his recommendations.
We then found a psychiatrist and went through a whole day, it would have been longer but we were out of state, with them. At the psychiatrist we saw 2 psychiatrist's and they saw us separately, and then together. Where we all talked and formed a plan. At this point it was decided that psychiatrist felt very strongly that K has BiPolar (BP), and should be medicated, but it was always up to us and we had to make the choice. She was also very clear that we could always so no. She felt strongly about medicating truly severe BiPolar (BP) kids, but she also felt strongly about behavior interventions first... The psychiatrist that diagnosis'ed K was in a Mood Disorder Clinic, we brought a parent report and video with us as well as every piece of documented paperwork we had... They told us it was the best assessment they had, it made it so much easier for them, K also was cycling pretty bad at the time which didn't hurt, as well as hallucinating!!!
Sorry you are in this situation it is a tough road no matter what the diagnosis.
Good luck