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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 495601" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Oh Witz, I am so sorry! And I know how much it hurts because I've been in a similar situation myself and nothing has ever been so painful. The things she said to you were <em>horrible</em> and meant to hurt you and I agree with every single word your husband said to her! And honestly, considering how nasty and hateful she was to you, I would not attend that wedding if I were you. Why just give her another opportunity to lash out at you and hurt you?</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't completely give up hope though. Sometimes it does get better. Even while we were still married, my ex always "sucked up" to our daughter while completely ignoring our son like he wasn't even there. He did everything he could to alienate her from me and ruin any kind of mother/daughter relationship we might have had. Lord only knows what he might have told her about me but for a very long time she really hated me! He didn't do it out of love for her, he used her as a weapon against me because other people are only important to him for what he can get out of them. But once she moved back to Florida and got away from his influence she started seeing thing more clearly and began to see him for what he really is. She and her fiance moved to S. Carolina when she was 27 and my son and I traveled there for their wedding. I really had no part (from 600 miles away) in planning for the wedding, and missed out on all the traditional" mother of the bride" activities. Back then, there was no way I could contribute financially - it was all I could do to get my son and I there. They were going to pay for the wedding themselves but then her mother in law and the mother in law's sister stepped in and paid for a much nicer ceremony than what they were planning. Of course nobody deliberately excluded me but I did feel a bit of an outsider at my own daughter's wedding. And her father was an obvious embarassment! At that wedding it was very evident that he was a pathetic loser! It took a while but she eventually became so disillusioned with her father that she no longer speaks to him. He doesn't even know that he has a beautiful little grandson now! She and I have slowly rebuilt our relationship but we will never get all those years back. I would like to talk with her about it but we don't because it's so painful. She has never outright apologized for anything but has made lots of comments that could be taken that way. It's just kind of understood between us. We've just started over from where we are now and it's good. Maturity, experience and becoming a mother herself have taught her a lot. So please don't give up hope because you never know how things will go in the future. You can let her know that you love her and are there for her without letting yourself be her punching bag!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 495601, member: 1883"] Oh Witz, I am so sorry! And I know how much it hurts because I've been in a similar situation myself and nothing has ever been so painful. The things she said to you were [I]horrible[/I] and meant to hurt you and I agree with every single word your husband said to her! And honestly, considering how nasty and hateful she was to you, I would not attend that wedding if I were you. Why just give her another opportunity to lash out at you and hurt you? I wouldn't completely give up hope though. Sometimes it does get better. Even while we were still married, my ex always "sucked up" to our daughter while completely ignoring our son like he wasn't even there. He did everything he could to alienate her from me and ruin any kind of mother/daughter relationship we might have had. Lord only knows what he might have told her about me but for a very long time she really hated me! He didn't do it out of love for her, he used her as a weapon against me because other people are only important to him for what he can get out of them. But once she moved back to Florida and got away from his influence she started seeing thing more clearly and began to see him for what he really is. She and her fiance moved to S. Carolina when she was 27 and my son and I traveled there for their wedding. I really had no part (from 600 miles away) in planning for the wedding, and missed out on all the traditional" mother of the bride" activities. Back then, there was no way I could contribute financially - it was all I could do to get my son and I there. They were going to pay for the wedding themselves but then her mother in law and the mother in law's sister stepped in and paid for a much nicer ceremony than what they were planning. Of course nobody deliberately excluded me but I did feel a bit of an outsider at my own daughter's wedding. And her father was an obvious embarassment! At that wedding it was very evident that he was a pathetic loser! It took a while but she eventually became so disillusioned with her father that she no longer speaks to him. He doesn't even know that he has a beautiful little grandson now! She and I have slowly rebuilt our relationship but we will never get all those years back. I would like to talk with her about it but we don't because it's so painful. She has never outright apologized for anything but has made lots of comments that could be taken that way. It's just kind of understood between us. We've just started over from where we are now and it's good. Maturity, experience and becoming a mother herself have taught her a lot. So please don't give up hope because you never know how things will go in the future. You can let her know that you love her and are there for her without letting yourself be her punching bag! [/QUOTE]
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