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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 495816" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Nancy, we were never married. I had no idea he was seeing someone else. He married her 2 weeks before our custody hearing. And they were definitely not trying to "blend families". They were skillfully and purposely trying to break me and didn't care what it did to L. You see, Jane was very wealthy from one of the most powerful legal dynasties on the west coast and a quadriplegic. She and L's dad had been "dating" (he was riding her family's coat tails) for years, and her father had given him permission to have lovers both before and after their marriage because he "knew that sex with Jane couldn't possibly be very satisfying". So, when L's dad did something to hurt Jane (whom he divorced when L was 6 and died when she was 10) Jane retaliated against L and I. It was sick and ugly and cruel. Dr. C was one of the lovers after the divorce. Go figure. </p><p></p><p>L's dad is now remarried to someone else who never knew any of them during those days and says "he was young and foolish and regrets how he treated me." He even admitted to me on the phone the other night that they had all done their legal and professional best to undermine my position in L's life "and he's not proud of that". He says he started trying to tell her that she should "honor and respect her mother" from the time she was about 12 - long after the damage was done. And certainly he didn't tell her "We brainwashed you and made sure you wouldn't love your mother. She loves you and has only ever had your best interest at heart."</p><p></p><p>I do my best to "forgive and forget", but I tend to go with Desmond Tutu's ideas on forgiveness. I do my best to not let the memories of the wrongs done to me make me angry because it gives those things power over me. I try to forget and usually do very well. I like to think that if we could have gotten through this wedding peacefully I might even have forgiven them in some way because I would have known that not only have I been able to move on to a happier and more fulfilled life, so was L. But stand there and watch it continue in front of witnesses, implying that it was ever ok with me? No way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 495816, member: 99"] Nancy, we were never married. I had no idea he was seeing someone else. He married her 2 weeks before our custody hearing. And they were definitely not trying to "blend families". They were skillfully and purposely trying to break me and didn't care what it did to L. You see, Jane was very wealthy from one of the most powerful legal dynasties on the west coast and a quadriplegic. She and L's dad had been "dating" (he was riding her family's coat tails) for years, and her father had given him permission to have lovers both before and after their marriage because he "knew that sex with Jane couldn't possibly be very satisfying". So, when L's dad did something to hurt Jane (whom he divorced when L was 6 and died when she was 10) Jane retaliated against L and I. It was sick and ugly and cruel. Dr. C was one of the lovers after the divorce. Go figure. L's dad is now remarried to someone else who never knew any of them during those days and says "he was young and foolish and regrets how he treated me." He even admitted to me on the phone the other night that they had all done their legal and professional best to undermine my position in L's life "and he's not proud of that". He says he started trying to tell her that she should "honor and respect her mother" from the time she was about 12 - long after the damage was done. And certainly he didn't tell her "We brainwashed you and made sure you wouldn't love your mother. She loves you and has only ever had your best interest at heart." I do my best to "forgive and forget", but I tend to go with Desmond Tutu's ideas on forgiveness. I do my best to not let the memories of the wrongs done to me make me angry because it gives those things power over me. I try to forget and usually do very well. I like to think that if we could have gotten through this wedding peacefully I might even have forgiven them in some way because I would have known that not only have I been able to move on to a happier and more fulfilled life, so was L. But stand there and watch it continue in front of witnesses, implying that it was ever ok with me? No way. [/QUOTE]
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