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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 189557" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Hi,</p><p>I think you did the right thing by telling her that you won't do this "thing" with her. I was talking to my dtr's therapist about the long talks she will get me up in the middle of the night for (she comes crying to me) and he said if they are just going around and around with nothing getting resolved I should not engage in them. Usually with my dtr we do resolve something and she does feel better but he doesn't think we should do this for "hours"--shouldn't take that long. I think it is good for you to set boundaries with her or she is going to **** you dry. I think I understand your fear of finding her dead and wanting her to be able to talk to you but I think in some sense you are enabling her sense of helplessnes by being so available. Also, she needs to see you as strong, not someone she can just manipulate and make as miserable as she is. I think the fact that she took the pill after you told her you were not doing this thing with her says volumes. Great job on your part!</p><p></p><p>I do feel for you, it sounds so hard!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 189557, member: 3208"] Hi, I think you did the right thing by telling her that you won't do this "thing" with her. I was talking to my dtr's therapist about the long talks she will get me up in the middle of the night for (she comes crying to me) and he said if they are just going around and around with nothing getting resolved I should not engage in them. Usually with my dtr we do resolve something and she does feel better but he doesn't think we should do this for "hours"--shouldn't take that long. I think it is good for you to set boundaries with her or she is going to **** you dry. I think I understand your fear of finding her dead and wanting her to be able to talk to you but I think in some sense you are enabling her sense of helplessnes by being so available. Also, she needs to see you as strong, not someone she can just manipulate and make as miserable as she is. I think the fact that she took the pill after you told her you were not doing this thing with her says volumes. Great job on your part! I do feel for you, it sounds so hard! Jane [/QUOTE]
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