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For those of you who live with scary kids...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 617568" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Most of the diagnoses do resemble one another in symptoms making it hard for even the best diagnosticians to figure out why our differently wired and even violent children act like they do. From what you say, I can't imagine that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the issue there. There has to be a basis for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), such as an early divorce and much chaos or foster care and multiple caregivers and the child not being safe. Almost all older adopted children have a form of attachment disorder, although it is a broad spectrum. There are mild attachment issues and full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), once called Orphanage Syndrome for those poor kids who grew up in orphanages where there was no primary caregiver at all. But foster care can be an ugly, abusive place and no baby does well being passed from mom to foster mom to grandma to dad to foster home back to mom, etc. It doesn't give them anyone to really trust.</p><p></p><p>But there are other reasons kids become violent. One is children who are exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero which can cause brain damage and limit the self-control the child has. One is autistic spectrum disorder if the child can not communicate, is socially awkward, and autistics do have a harder time with frustration (told to me by two autism experts). Bipolar, unmedicated, can cause violence.</p><p></p><p>Most of the parents who come on here and have actually violent kids who go so far as to harm animals, choke their siblings, break beloved toys, steal at very young ages, slap around mom and dad, don't seem to be able to form feelings or caring for others, etc. seem to have had very chaotic early years. The backgrounds seem to almost always b e either a very early, contentious divorce where many people had to take care of one child (and sometimes an abusive parent) or children adopted at older ages.Your child has remorse. There is no Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) with remorse.</p><p></p><p>The article was mainly for those who do not know about attachment disorder. Just like borderline personality disorder was not well understood until just recently, and there was said to be no cure until just recently, reactive attachment disorder is not really well known or diagnosed, even by good diagnosticians. I'd guess that those who know the most about it are in the adoption world. But with so many people divorcing when their children are so young, I'm guessing that it will become better known and professionals will get up to speed on it. There IS help, but it is very specific treatment and misdiagnosing it as ADHD or bipolar will not do any good.</p><p></p><p>This is a very near to my heart issue because we lived with a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child for three years and will never be able to undo the damage he did to our family. However, understanding has helped us a lot. The bottom line is that if a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child is not helped or does not respond to the help, usually the child is not safe in a family enviroment. They lack a conscience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 617568, member: 1550"] Most of the diagnoses do resemble one another in symptoms making it hard for even the best diagnosticians to figure out why our differently wired and even violent children act like they do. From what you say, I can't imagine that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the issue there. There has to be a basis for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), such as an early divorce and much chaos or foster care and multiple caregivers and the child not being safe. Almost all older adopted children have a form of attachment disorder, although it is a broad spectrum. There are mild attachment issues and full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), once called Orphanage Syndrome for those poor kids who grew up in orphanages where there was no primary caregiver at all. But foster care can be an ugly, abusive place and no baby does well being passed from mom to foster mom to grandma to dad to foster home back to mom, etc. It doesn't give them anyone to really trust. But there are other reasons kids become violent. One is children who are exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero which can cause brain damage and limit the self-control the child has. One is autistic spectrum disorder if the child can not communicate, is socially awkward, and autistics do have a harder time with frustration (told to me by two autism experts). Bipolar, unmedicated, can cause violence. Most of the parents who come on here and have actually violent kids who go so far as to harm animals, choke their siblings, break beloved toys, steal at very young ages, slap around mom and dad, don't seem to be able to form feelings or caring for others, etc. seem to have had very chaotic early years. The backgrounds seem to almost always b e either a very early, contentious divorce where many people had to take care of one child (and sometimes an abusive parent) or children adopted at older ages.Your child has remorse. There is no Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) with remorse. The article was mainly for those who do not know about attachment disorder. Just like borderline personality disorder was not well understood until just recently, and there was said to be no cure until just recently, reactive attachment disorder is not really well known or diagnosed, even by good diagnosticians. I'd guess that those who know the most about it are in the adoption world. But with so many people divorcing when their children are so young, I'm guessing that it will become better known and professionals will get up to speed on it. There IS help, but it is very specific treatment and misdiagnosing it as ADHD or bipolar will not do any good. This is a very near to my heart issue because we lived with a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child for three years and will never be able to undo the damage he did to our family. However, understanding has helped us a lot. The bottom line is that if a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child is not helped or does not respond to the help, usually the child is not safe in a family enviroment. They lack a conscience. [/QUOTE]
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