So glad to have found this group! We accepted a placement of 2 brothers into our home on Friday. As is typical in foster care, we have VERY little information about either boy. The oldest (age 6) came with a bottle of Adderall (15 mg) and a mention by his caseworker that he is ADHD. He is loud, active and bursts into tears when he is frustrated, all of which I expected and can handle. What I've never encountered though is the level of defiance I am getting from this child. It is sporadic, but to the point of making me feel uncomfortable about being able to guarentee his safety. For example, when I took him, his 2 year old brother and my 4 year old son on a walk to the bus stop to meet my 8 year old son, I explained before we left that one of my rules is that we hold hands when we walk to the bus stop. He indicated that this was fine before we left, but once we got outside he took off on me. I called him back (he complied) but when I reminded him of my rule he gave me a look that could kill, shouted "NO!!!!" and took off again... straight towards a busy road. Luckily, another mom was there and quickly took my two little ones while I went after my foster boy. When I approached him, he flung himself down on the road, still shouting and screaming.
I am very hesitant to take him anywhere with me without some strategies in mind for dealing with his behavior. That's what I'm hoping to find here. How do you deal with defiant/dangerous behavior? For example, how could I have handled the walk to the bus stop differently so that safety is maximized? Once we got home, I followed through with a serious talk (he cried) and told him he had lost the privilege of a walk to the bus stop and that next time we'd be taking the car, where he will remain while we wait for the bus (he cried at that, too). Any suggestions or stories of what you've done with a similar child are greatly appreciated - I need to arm myself with some game plans!
I am very hesitant to take him anywhere with me without some strategies in mind for dealing with his behavior. That's what I'm hoping to find here. How do you deal with defiant/dangerous behavior? For example, how could I have handled the walk to the bus stop differently so that safety is maximized? Once we got home, I followed through with a serious talk (he cried) and told him he had lost the privilege of a walk to the bus stop and that next time we'd be taking the car, where he will remain while we wait for the bus (he cried at that, too). Any suggestions or stories of what you've done with a similar child are greatly appreciated - I need to arm myself with some game plans!