Fran...where are you? Suz...where are you?
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Fran
Former desparate mom
Witz, I'm older than you so I got here earlier. My difficult child will be 30 in August.
Esther, in that dark period of our lives this site and it's members truly was my lifeline, my friends, my support and at times my only ally.
It was such a gift to meet you guys and develop relationships that although online just as meaningful as those real life relationships.
Esther, in that dark period of our lives this site and it's members truly was my lifeline, my friends, my support and at times my only ally.
It was such a gift to meet you guys and develop relationships that although online just as meaningful as those real life relationships.
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
Thank you all for adding your updates. We certainly manned the trenches together and kept each other going. I am ever grateful. I'm so pleased that we all survived (no exaggeration since I think many of us didn't think we/difficult child would), I have to admit that I still have moments of PTSD and those moments take me right back to darker times. I've learned to distance myself immediately when that happens but I'm not always successful. You couldn't pay me enough to go through it again but I am very proud of all of us for coming out the other side.
HUGS
HUGS
Tiapet
Old Hand
I can't believe the time it has been either. Fran I didn't know you had left NC either. Age has a way of taking it's toll on us all it seems in so many ways.
My updates have been on and off over time on the board. Much has changed and yet some has not still but I still have teens too. I shudder at the thought of what's still to come.
My adult easy child/difficult child was what brought me here all those years ago. I believe it was 1996. In that time we've gone through 5 owners of the board (Momma bear, Abbey, Fran, Nancy, and now Runnaway), I think I have that right. We've lost a few members to death (Pico, Kris, and I can't think of her name but yet it's on the tip of my tongue -she had diabetes and was in a wheel chair and her husband was on here too, I'm not sure if we lost him too?). We've had cyber baby showers (mine was the first with mr. busy), we started up the virtual party bus and Raoul (which eventually lead to this forum, the watercooler), we've lost a few members to the unknown as well, we've gain so many new members though since then (25 originally as oppossed to thousands now!).
I feel the same as most everyone does. Back then my oldest was suicidal and homicidal and was put inpatient for the 1st time at the tender age of 6 years old. One the hardest things I ever had to do in life (and for her and she resents me for it still). I had NO clue of what to do or where to turn. Over time, I learned with the help of others, slowly what I needed to do and how to do it not only to help myself but my child(ren). It was not always easy and like Suz mentioned, I too get PTSD from darker times from things that occurred in the past. I don't ever want to go back there and unfortunately it effects me to this day and shapes my here and now. If my difficult child's weren't still under 18 some of the things that trigger PTSD in me couldn't occur but sadly they are. I "only" have 5 more years for my youngest to reach that milestone and be free of that particular point.
I can only hope that this site lives on long into the future with each new passing member staying and contributing and coming back, as some of us "old hands" do as we can. It helps to keep it blossoming and keeping the continuity of it I think.
I'm not as vocal in my contributions as some others, I never really have been. I do input when and where I think I have something to contribute. If only something different from my perspective or to just offer a nod of support extra.
My updates have been on and off over time on the board. Much has changed and yet some has not still but I still have teens too. I shudder at the thought of what's still to come.
My adult easy child/difficult child was what brought me here all those years ago. I believe it was 1996. In that time we've gone through 5 owners of the board (Momma bear, Abbey, Fran, Nancy, and now Runnaway), I think I have that right. We've lost a few members to death (Pico, Kris, and I can't think of her name but yet it's on the tip of my tongue -she had diabetes and was in a wheel chair and her husband was on here too, I'm not sure if we lost him too?). We've had cyber baby showers (mine was the first with mr. busy), we started up the virtual party bus and Raoul (which eventually lead to this forum, the watercooler), we've lost a few members to the unknown as well, we've gain so many new members though since then (25 originally as oppossed to thousands now!).
I feel the same as most everyone does. Back then my oldest was suicidal and homicidal and was put inpatient for the 1st time at the tender age of 6 years old. One the hardest things I ever had to do in life (and for her and she resents me for it still). I had NO clue of what to do or where to turn. Over time, I learned with the help of others, slowly what I needed to do and how to do it not only to help myself but my child(ren). It was not always easy and like Suz mentioned, I too get PTSD from darker times from things that occurred in the past. I don't ever want to go back there and unfortunately it effects me to this day and shapes my here and now. If my difficult child's weren't still under 18 some of the things that trigger PTSD in me couldn't occur but sadly they are. I "only" have 5 more years for my youngest to reach that milestone and be free of that particular point.
I can only hope that this site lives on long into the future with each new passing member staying and contributing and coming back, as some of us "old hands" do as we can. It helps to keep it blossoming and keeping the continuity of it I think.
I'm not as vocal in my contributions as some others, I never really have been. I do input when and where I think I have something to contribute. If only something different from my perspective or to just offer a nod of support extra.
So sorry to read of your eye problems, the death in your family and other concerns. Our son is doing extraordinarily well in Central Fla. he has won two awards at work and just published a children's book. We are in that area often and will likely move there in a few years. difficult child is about the same...some days I think a teeny, tiny bit better...still lots of ?
Enjoy your new home!
Enjoy your new home!
Estherfromjerusalem
Well-Known Member
Her name was Joy, and we called her Joybells. Her husband was known as C.W. She was a lovely person, full of love and giving. I talked to her on the phone when I was in the USA about 10 years ago.
(Sigh) We have been here for a loooong time! Oh well, onwards and upwards!!!
Love, Esther
(Sigh) We have been here for a loooong time! Oh well, onwards and upwards!!!
Love, Esther
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
I miss Joy and Kris.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Thank you all for posting updates. It's lovely to hear from you, and to hear that your difficult children are doing well.
I'm a "new kid", having only been around for 7 or 8 years, but I so appreciate the wisdom you all shared with me when I first arrived here in a panic during the First Big difficult child Meltdown (tm). I still think of you all as my mentors in Warrior Mom training.
Trinity
I'm a "new kid", having only been around for 7 or 8 years, but I so appreciate the wisdom you all shared with me when I first arrived here in a panic during the First Big difficult child Meltdown (tm). I still think of you all as my mentors in Warrior Mom training.
Trinity
Tiapet
Old Hand
Ah yes! JOYBELLS and CW! That is her. I recall so many good times. Our Christmas tree ornaments sent to Pico for her tree before her departure too. Kris' departure was so sudden and unexpected. Shocking if I recall correctly.
Fran I hope your eyes get better and you are up to your old self soon enough.
Suz I hope that Richard finds you and SOON! After all this time and him being single now, it's about time!
This board, this family...and it IS family...we do have squabbles just like a real family yet we do manage to still come together when needed.
Fran I hope your eyes get better and you are up to your old self soon enough.
Suz I hope that Richard finds you and SOON! After all this time and him being single now, it's about time!
This board, this family...and it IS family...we do have squabbles just like a real family yet we do manage to still come together when needed.
It's wonderful to hear everyone's updates. I too came here about 15-16 years ago and darn it if I'm not still here...but different. My difficult child is now 22 and living with her boyfriend and his 5 year old daughter who is really adorable. After just squeaking through high school she got herself kicked out of college, went through a substance abuse program, relapsed, went to sober living and finally on her own. Over the past three years we have healed and grown closer than we ever have been before. Maturity and responsibility has set in and I am cautiously optimistic. She will always struggle, works a minimum wage job at a doggie day care but loves it and has always been a natural around animals. She now understands just how foolish she was to ruin her opportunity to go to college and have a career and tells us she has many regrets over that among many other things. Her boyfriend is an OK guy but has very low ambition and very much in debt from foolish choices he made in his early life and I believe he is an alcoholic. difficult child is by far the most responsible person in that relationship. We worry about her and we help with groceries and gas money but we are relieved she is living in the real world and at least for now she seems to be making good choices.
My easy child is a kindergarten teacher and lives on her own only about 2 miles away so we get to see her often. She is still looking for her soul mate and really wants to settle down but is finding it harder to meet guys who want more than just partying or hooking up. husband and I are enjoying our empty nest, husband still enjoys what he is doing and while I think he would like to retire in the forseeable future he is not at that point yet.
I am involved in a family support group for substance abuse that I found when difficult child was going through the program. They are a wonderful group of people and even though I am no longer in an active abuse situation with difficult child, substance abuse has become my cause and we do what we can to support the treatment centers in our area and work with our leaders to stop the heroin problem and prescription overuse in our area.
Like all of you this board has been my sanity for so many years. I do have the gift of appreciation and I see things in such a different light now. After walking through the fire that we all have done you can't help but be changed. I love and appreciate everyone here for so many reasons.
My easy child is a kindergarten teacher and lives on her own only about 2 miles away so we get to see her often. She is still looking for her soul mate and really wants to settle down but is finding it harder to meet guys who want more than just partying or hooking up. husband and I are enjoying our empty nest, husband still enjoys what he is doing and while I think he would like to retire in the forseeable future he is not at that point yet.
I am involved in a family support group for substance abuse that I found when difficult child was going through the program. They are a wonderful group of people and even though I am no longer in an active abuse situation with difficult child, substance abuse has become my cause and we do what we can to support the treatment centers in our area and work with our leaders to stop the heroin problem and prescription overuse in our area.
Like all of you this board has been my sanity for so many years. I do have the gift of appreciation and I see things in such a different light now. After walking through the fire that we all have done you can't help but be changed. I love and appreciate everyone here for so many reasons.
muttmeister
Well-Known Member
It's so good to hear from so many of you that I remember. I think I came here when older difficult child was about 10 or so and he'll be 30 this year!!!! Can't believe it. You all helped me get him raised and watched while my easy child turned into a difficult child too. Older one is doing great now. Younger one not so much but it could be worse
.
I took my ailing 98 yo mother into my home a little over a year ago and nursed her through her bout with cancer; she passed on July 31. Then I took a short term nanny job; sold my house to younger difficult child; packed my stuff and moved to Omaha Nov. 30. I love my apartment and I think it will be good for difficult child 2 to have me farther away. Started a new nanny job on Monday. I don't quite know how to act with 2 "normal" kids to look after. It seems like a good position and I only need to work a couple of years to pay off some bills. Now if I can only get difficult child 2 on the road to normalcy, things will be perfect - LOL!!!
Today I had my coffee in my last remaining "I love my HMJ" mug. Really enjoyed the time in spent in Vegas with some of you. You all really are family to me so even though my difficult children are grown, I still check in here fairly regularly.
Thanks for helping me keep what little sanity I have for all of these years.
.
I took my ailing 98 yo mother into my home a little over a year ago and nursed her through her bout with cancer; she passed on July 31. Then I took a short term nanny job; sold my house to younger difficult child; packed my stuff and moved to Omaha Nov. 30. I love my apartment and I think it will be good for difficult child 2 to have me farther away. Started a new nanny job on Monday. I don't quite know how to act with 2 "normal" kids to look after. It seems like a good position and I only need to work a couple of years to pay off some bills. Now if I can only get difficult child 2 on the road to normalcy, things will be perfect - LOL!!!
Today I had my coffee in my last remaining "I love my HMJ" mug. Really enjoyed the time in spent in Vegas with some of you. You all really are family to me so even though my difficult children are grown, I still check in here fairly regularly.
Thanks for helping me keep what little sanity I have for all of these years.
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
I think I've been here for 10 years now. Even though my Duckie is a minor difficult child in many respects, I'm glad I stayed. I believe that the guidance and support I have received here has definitely made things better.
Wow hard to believe I've been here thru the life and death of 5 computers, would think I would have a lot more posts then that? Though there were a lot of times I just read and cried because was too torn up to talk about it.
I just want to thank you all for keeping me alive, there were times if it wasn't for stumbling out to turn computer on and come here I would have probably just stayed in bed with the covers pulled over my head.
My signature pretty much tells our story, someone said something about the rat race... the problem with the rat race is even if you win you're still just a rat.
wishing you all peace,
Nancy
I just want to thank you all for keeping me alive, there were times if it wasn't for stumbling out to turn computer on and come here I would have probably just stayed in bed with the covers pulled over my head.
My signature pretty much tells our story, someone said something about the rat race... the problem with the rat race is even if you win you're still just a rat.
wishing you all peace,
Nancy
WhymeMom?
No real answers to life..
I haven't checked in quite some time, but good to see some names I recognize. My difficult child turned 30 last year and seems to be leveling out. He married a great woman and is trying to make a life for himself and his family. So far so good, he now realizes the need for medication. His biggest problem is still dealing with a felony record and that limits his job possibilities, but his wife is gainfully employed. Thank the Lord every day he lived past his teen years. With time he has gained perspective. He is respectful of us and doesn't ask us to provide things for him. Wish the light could have come on sooner, but just glad it did! Don't know how long ago I first came looking for solutions, but was probably around 1999.......you all are still in my thoughts and thank you for counsel in my frustrating times. To any of you just starting down this path.....stay strong and do the best you can with what you know and don't feel bad about asking for advice!
svengandhi
Well-Known Member
Fran -
I never met you but once, in June 2004, you spent an hour or so on the phone with me just listening while I cried over how my life was imploding due to my H (who lost the "D" in husband at that point in time). You and LMS read through the anger and hostility in my posts at the time and reached out to me. I can't say that my marriage is any better but having someone listen to me at a time when there was nobody who I knew face to face that I could confide in meant a great deal to me. After that, I stopped posting on the board until I could post without my anger and rage influencing the comments I made. When I came back, I didn't remember my log in name so I started anew.
I remember when your difficult child came to school in my area. We emailed a couple of times to try to get together but it didn't work it and I have always felt sad about that.
I'm not sure if you'll remember me now, but it doesn't matter because I remember you.
Sven
I never met you but once, in June 2004, you spent an hour or so on the phone with me just listening while I cried over how my life was imploding due to my H (who lost the "D" in husband at that point in time). You and LMS read through the anger and hostility in my posts at the time and reached out to me. I can't say that my marriage is any better but having someone listen to me at a time when there was nobody who I knew face to face that I could confide in meant a great deal to me. After that, I stopped posting on the board until I could post without my anger and rage influencing the comments I made. When I came back, I didn't remember my log in name so I started anew.
I remember when your difficult child came to school in my area. We emailed a couple of times to try to get together but it didn't work it and I have always felt sad about that.
I'm not sure if you'll remember me now, but it doesn't matter because I remember you.
Sven
Fran
Former desparate mom
Sven, I'm humbled that you remember me in such a warm way. I hope life is better for you and the kids. Life has moved quickly hasn't it?
